Episode 303: Stranded on La Isla Surrounded by Celebrity Buttwater
Celebrity butt water, sock shoe, caramel, three fingers in the honeycomb, one comic book, Walmart version of Margot Robbie, car flies Dukes of Hazzard style, guillotine, Duck Hunt, eunuch maker’s frozen leg, Saitama thugs, calling police 2,060 times in 9 days, condombassador
Double X Quantimino
Celebrity butt water
sock shoe sock shoe or sock sock shoe shoe
Caramel
RHCP lyrics “Three fingers in the honeycomb”
Burrito has enough space in his bugout bag for one comic book to bring to La Isla – Spider-Man: Blue #6
knock-off of a knockout
“Dramatic body camera footage shows a car speeding down a Georgia highway, catching a tow truck ramp and flying about 120 feet through the air “Dukes of Hazzard”-style, authorities say. The driver survived the crash with serious injuries.”
This Is The Newz
Couple’s choreographed suicide by guillotine ends with heads rolling into fire altar
Deputies accuse man of using Nintendo ‘Duck Hunt’ pistol to rob a business
Man admits freezing leg of alleged ‘eunuch maker’ who was accused of broadcasting live castrations
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
“I’m the most famous thug in Saitama!” Japanese kids’ social media beef leads to beating, arrests
Saitama man arrested for calling police 2,060 times in 9 days to yell at them
14th-generation condom ambassador named by Japan’s Sagami Original
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added November 25th, 2023
Episode 302: Broken Palindrome
Tacos fall apart, that double space, The Taming of the Shrew, throwing out undies, $19 smash burger, movie soundtracks, Bomb Queen, Brazilian steakhouse, hiding in a store after close, seals stick eels up nose, tipping culture, Hot Pocket shooting, Plymouth Hoe palm trees, plastic egg tarts, Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Double X Quantimino
Plug In & Hate – “It’s ok if u fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart & we still love them”
That double space between a full stop and the next sentence
The Taming of the Shrew
When to throw out the undies
A $19 smash burger
One movie soundtrack to take to La Isla
Bomb Queen
Brazilian steakhouse
Hiding after close in a store of your choice
This Is The Newz
‘Make better choices’: Researchers beg endangered seals to not stick eels up nose
Influencer who created AI version of herself says it’s gone rogue and she’s working ‘around the clock’ to stop it saying sexually explicit things
TikTokers say tipping culture is getting ‘out of hand’ after a woman claimed a Ben & Jerry’s cashier got annoyed when she didn’t tip for a $2 cone
Man shot roommate in Kentucky for eating last Hot Pocket, police say
Plymouth Hoe palm trees cut down in sex and drugs crackdown
Morse – Vibration Messenger
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Egg tart vendor promises not to accidentally sell realistic plastic samples a third time
More than one in three Japanese working women in survey would rather be housewives
Man rides motorbike into lobby of Fukuoka police station, demands they crack down on rude driving
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added November 14th, 2023
Episode 301: Polysyllabic Immaturity
Weapons for The Purge, vuvuzelas, poker, lima beans, Honey Buns, $70 safety razor, Newz, one million bees, toe sucking, Martha Stewart, Boot Girls, BNN, precious metal fillings, candy from Grave of the Fireflies, Krispy Kreme doughnut burger
Double X Quantimino
Weapons of choice during The Purge
Vuvuzelas
Poker’s popularity, Strip Poker on USA Network
Lima bean, clitorati
Guestimation Unknown – Honey Buns
A $70 safety razor
This Is The Newz
Ajax man facing charges after obtaining sexual services and refusing to pay
One million bees released during tractor-trailer crash on I-10 Westbound and US-301
Man rescued from woods after sex game goes awry
Hilton Hotel manager arrested for waking up guest by sucking on his toes
Woman’s body found in Arby’s freezer
Driver tried to switch places with his dog on DUI stop in Colorado town, police say
Martha Stewart lands ‘historic’ Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover
Masturbation with ‘sex toy’ kills man; gets electrocuted with ping pong ball up his butt while jerking off
A ride with Boot Girls, 2 women challenging Atlanta’s parking enforcement industry
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Kyoto City planning to sell cremated people’s precious metal fillings for millions of yen
Candy from Ghibli’s Grave of the Fireflies disappearing as manufacturer goes out of business
Krispy Kreme adds doughnut burgers to its menu in Japan
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Tentative titles: “Meet the Wolves Halfway”, “The Ant and the Lima Bean”, “Innocence and Piggies”
Added November 01st, 2023
Episode 300: Flat Circle Omakase Symphony
Wrestling entrance songs, NDAs, time is an illusion / social construct / flat circle, the bar scene, boys and girls’ bikes, mermaid statue, drugs shipped to restaurant, $120K banana, penis surgery gone wrong, orgasm heard at LA Philharmonic concert, fish semen on the sushi menu, Betty at 92’s male striptease show, all-you-can eat cookie cafe, beautiful women on apartment visits, JP government seeks power to control AC remotely
Double X Quantimino
Wrestling entrance songs – Brian: Let’s Get Reptarded, Art: The War, GMN: Hero, Burrito: Simon Says
Reality show NDA
Entrance songs but only from James Bond movies
Time is an illusion and a social construct
Time is a flat circle
A homunculus amunculus
The bar scene
Boys and girls’ bikes
This Is The Newz
Mermaid statue causes stir in southern Italy
Man arrested after $3M worth of drugs shipped to restaurant
Banana drama: ‘hungry’ South Korean student eats $120,000 artwork
Man dies after penis enhancement surgery goes wrong
Woman’s ‘loud and full body orgasm’ heard during LA Philharmonic concert
Michelin star chef inspired to add ‘fish semen’ to the menu at high-end restaurant
Care home resident fulfills dream of watching male striptease show at 92
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Reminder: Japan has awesome all-you-can-eat cookies cafés
Tokyo real estate agency sends beautiful women with you on apartment visits for date-like mood
Japanese government seeking power to turn down private home air conditioners remotely
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added October 22nd, 2023
Episode 299: Rawr is my OwO | Chasing El Dorado | The Heat in the Meat | Stillborns Stay Born | Through Thiccc and Thin
Walnutmilk, Mylk, Mxlk, Rawr, OwO/UwU, 3½-hour long movie or live music performance, Avril, JTT, Utopia, Prions, How much until you have to let your pet go?, Jersey Mike’s charity contribution to Boners for Algernon, overthinking, Desiigner, penis for sale, claw machine, cooked bats, stillborn, police bunny, RoboDog, robot waiters, food prank
Double X Quantimino
Walnutmilk, Mylk, Mxlk
Rawr is my OwO
Three and a half hours of a live music performance or movie
Avril, JTT, Utopia
Cool band name? – Hotass Pedxphiles
Prions
How much until you have to let your pet go?
Guesstimation Unknown: Mike’s Way®
Boners for Algernon
Overthinking? Ruminating? Breathe.
This Is The Newz
Rapper Desiigner charged for masturbating aboard overseas flight
Man ‘tries to sell penis’ at Eastern Cape shopping mall
Boy, 13, gets stuck climbing into claw machine for prize
German officials seize cooked bats near Belgian border
Pair charged with throwing away ashes of stillborn infant
Baby Gooch: “I’m stillborn. I stay born. Go shop at Liz Claiborne.”
Officer Cottontail? Bunny joins the police force. Fur real.
RoboCop? No, RoboDog: Robotic dog rejoins New York police
Are robot waiters the future? Some restaurants think so
Japan police arrest 2 in food prank at beef bowl diner
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added October 13th, 2023
Episode 298: The Confidence Intervals of Pickled Innkeeper Worms
A paper coffee cup, George Foreman Grill, human burgers, Make-A-Wish wishes, sugar AIDS, throwing stacks of $100 bills out a car window, meta analysis, raw water, two million dimes, hit man names, epoxy condom, gyoza king, asking to jerk off in a convenience store bathroom, cat fur bed sheets
Double X Quantimino
A paper coffee cup
George Foreman Grill
Human burgers
You’re a Make-A-Wish kid and your wish is going to be granted.
Sugar AIDS, Chasr, Got Bugz
A man threw stacks of $100 bills from his car window in a wild show of generosity. His family says he drained their bank accounts, leaving them broke.
Meta-analysis, Part 1: Testosterone treatment not linked to short-, medium-term CV events in men
Meta-analysis, Part 2: Sex after menopause doesn’t need to hurt
Urechis caupo
This Is The Newz
Trendy “raw water” source under bird’s nest sparks diarrheal outbreak
Police search for group of suspects who stole 2 million dimes from truck in Northeast Philadelphia
Tennessee Air National Guardsman applied to be a hit man on a website – and got arrested
Hitman names: Montezuma’s Revenge, Gloom and Doom, Ambivalence, Brian Shrimp
Man dies after having sex using epoxy adhesive instead of a condom
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Kyoto police issue arrest warrant in nine-year-old murder of Japan’s gyoza king
Teacher in Japan politely asks to use convenience store bathroom to jerk off, gets arrested
Japan created bed sheets that feel like petting a cat, and they sold out immediately
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added October 01st, 2023
Episode 297: Mascara Runs
Vinyl record grooves, The Flaccid and the Furious, horny goat weed, White Van Scam, ranch sauce, your wife has been kidnapped, Caesar salad, your AI existence, alcoholic dog now sober, offensive shirt at Walmart, Resident Evil 4 upskirt, 18,000 cows, cocaine hippo hit by SUV, Apple store robbed, Fabrizio, Japanese fight festival, man buys coffee but gets latte, Least Attractive Prefecture
Pre-show
F–k Dungeon
Rebel Wilson Tribute
A Facef–k to Remember
Double X Quantimino
Groove
The Flaccid and the Furious
Horny goat weed
Booba Gettz spotted in the wild in Arthur’s Nextdoor feed: ‘SCAM: Watch out for the “White Van Speaker Scam” in the area. A guy pumping gas next to me, at Exxon, almost fell for it. The scammer was in a white truck “selling” a home entertainment system.’
Ranch
“Your wife has been kidnapped and is being held in a location 30 mins away. You’re driving to rescue her. It’s a warm night and your windows are down. Do you listen to music on the drive there yes or no”
Plug In & Hate – What I Had For Lunch: Caesar salad
What if you found out you were an AI bot?
Did Arthur Dream of Electric Podcasts?
This Is The Newz
Alcoholic dog who got addicted to drinks left out by owner now sober
Walmart removes offensive shirt with hidden curse after complaints
Ashley breaks the fourth wall in Resident Evil 4 Remake if you try to upskirt her
18,000 cows killed in explosion, fire at Texas dairy farm may be largest cattle killing ever
Re-enactment Newz: Brian is the newscaster in the helicopter. Gemini is the SUV driver. Burrito is the hippo.
One of Pablo Escobar’s ‘cocaine hippos’ dies after being hit by an SUV in Colombia
Washington Apple store robbed of $500,000 in iPhones after thieves tunnel through coffee shop wall
Fabricio/Fabrizio
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Fights break out at Japanese fight festival
Man arrested for trying to kill a convenience store owner over a cup of coffee
Japanese prefecture replaces Ibaraki as Least Attractive Prefecture in annual ranking
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added September 23rd, 2023
Episode 296: IDDQD
X-Men intimacy, John Stamos gets crowned, a Friends smashup, eat a McGlizzy, where to find grapefruit gelatin, mustaches, Batgirl, what pandemic?, the Blue October Girl archetype, losing 30 lb eating McDonald’s, Luby’s Hamber Alert, a teenager pretends to be a physician’s assistant to access a hospital, mammoth meatballs, knockoff designer brands, a hacker returns $200M, naked man drives school bus, a gang member with Down syndrome, all you can eat ice cream and frozen food, an English-speaking-only bar in Japan, a woman defrauds men for 4.4M yen.
Double X Quantimino
The best X-Men with which to have sex
John Stamos
Friends Smashup
The McGlizzy
Getting grapefruit gelatin for your bae
Mustache
That canceled Batgirl movie
How We Buried A Pandemic
Blue October Girl
This Is The Newz
Man eating McDonald’s for 100 days is down nearly 30 lb so far — and now his wife is joining him
Luby’s apologizes for ham-handed promotion
Teenage imposter gains access to two Slam City South South hospitals
Meatball from long-extinct mammoth created by food firm
Customs officers seize more than $700,000 of knockoff Gucci, Chanel, other designer brands
Hacker Behind $200M Euler Attack Apologizes, Returns Millions in Ether, Dai to Protocol
Naked man driving stolen school bus with dead deer inside leads police on chase
Alleged gang member with Down syndrome indicted in separate Chicago murders
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
All you can eat ice cream and frozen food restaurant becomes a hit in Akihabara
English-speaking-only bar opens in Osaka and Tokyo, yellow cards for those who don’t follow rules
Shiga woman defrauded 4.4M yen by man asking for money to fly down from the ISS and marry her
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added September 16th, 2023
Episode 295: Charm School
The Mayor Pro Tem Boston Cream Cake story is retold. A customized aroma collection for Slam City is workshopped. Motor vehicle operators must now be able to also properly operate a bicycle. A mother’s daughter asks for $4 to pay for a classmate’s field trip fee, but Mom says no. Cassettes are limited edition collectibles now? Arthur was late to the recording session, so no Newz this episode. The Burrito Bandito brings odd news from Japan about a briefcase filled with adult toys, bears serving coffee through a hole in the wall, and a straight-bar keyboard. If your attention span takes you to 45:03, Jaymark takes you time-traveling.
Double X Quantimino
Gemini and The Burrito Bandito explain Mayor Pro Tem to Brian and the listener.
Slam City’s Aroma Collection – Barbacoa, Olympic Swimming Pool, Grundle, Clam City (Glitter + Shame), and Nostalgia Stage Two
Hypothetical Meta Analysis – To legally operate a motor vehicle, one of the requirements is that an applicant must be able to properly operate a bicycle.
Did she make the right decision? A mother declines to give her daughter $4 to pay for another classmate’s field trip fee.
When did collectible limited edition cassettes become a thing? Do I need to dig out my old Walkman? As The Burrito Bandito was swinging and missing on buying a copy of the Coheed and Cambria SSTB vinyl repress, pronoun noticed a cassette section in Equal Vision’s store.
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Bomb squad in Japan summoned to take care of an abandoned briefcase full of adult toys
Bears serve environmentally friendly coffee and treats via a hole in the wall at new Tokyo cafe
Google Japan creates the Key Bou, an insane and logical straight-bar keyboard
After Party: A brief review of Martin House Brewing Company Raspberry Mochi fruited sour + tips on meeting women
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Slam City Radio 24/7 x https://slamcity.co/scr247/
Added September 08th, 2023
Episode 294: Tabitha, Chivalry, and the Scientific Method
The scientific method, buying tickets, first movie on a date at home, $3 for cheese on a burger, chivalry was killed, teledildonics, Crispr baby, stop Rickrolling, The Big Nasty, Newz, Ninja Bear, trains, and raincoats.
Pre-game: The Scientific Method
Double X Quantimino
Buying tickets then and now
Calling All Casanovas & Don Juans, Part 2 – A Movie
A woman ghosted a date because he wouldn’t order $3 cheese for his burger
Chivalry didn’t die, it was killed
Teledildonics
You found out that you’re a Crispr baby
Stop Rickrolling
Slam City Lucha Libre – The Burrito Bandito vs The Big Nasty
This Is The Newz
Man who killed 3 people, cut heart out and cooked it pleads guilty in Oklahoma
Security guard dragged by truck while chasing person who stole 3-foot foam carrot from Clearview Mall’s Easter display
Norfolk burglar stole sex toy after break in through dog flap
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Giant “Ninja Bear” has been attacking dairy farms in Hokkaido for three years
Japanese public broadcaster issues apology for calling a train a “train”
Japan’s Raincoat Man arrested for stealing 360 women’s raincoats
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added September 02nd, 2023