Episode 236: Apex Ouroboros | Your Ankles Are Upside-Down | Lyfe As A Condition | Steve Lazarus
You didn’t know you needed Slam City until you couldn’t live without it. If you’re not into Slam City, then it’s not for you. If you are into it, welcome to the club.
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Brian might get a chance to hook up with a girl that he was too scared to hook up with in high school
The Dog-a: Apartment dog drama intensifies
Women Aren’t Funny – ok, edit: “Funny Women” Aren’t Funny – ok, “a psycho i’m talking to on Tinder isn’t funny” –Brian
Quick brainstorm sesh: “Fingerking potatoes, these fat juicy tubers will fill up any size appetite. New ad idea?”
Foo Fighters Greatest Hits
Is edging by yourself unnecessary?
Fictional emo band in an audio drama – Lyfe As A Condition with Steve Lazarus, Geoff Solomon, and EZ Kill
Dry cleaning tip from GMN
This Is The Newz
‘Jack Dorsey’s First Tweet’ NFT Went on Sale for $48M. It Ended With a Top Bid of Just $280
Woman Who Deals Meth Says Selling Drugs Was The Only Job She Could Get
Wharton police looking for person who put ‘Chick-Fil-A coming soon’ sign up as prank
Man admitted to hospital after rare masturbation injury
Houston car dealership employee flips script on attempted robber, sends him running
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Tokyo ramen chain brings the heat with Carolina Reaper miso soup
New burger in Japan combines fried chicken with…strawberries and cream?!?
Many young Japanese people aren’t drinking sake these days
What I Had For Lunch
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Added July 03rd, 2022
Episode 235: Magnanimous
The World’s First Quantimino Powered Podcast is recorded especially for you at the Daddy Juice Energy Studio in the Beaded Curtain District.
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Brian Goes to Europe – train drama, did Brian get laid?, etc.
Me-date revisited. Did Brian break his $25 high watermark on his Eurotrip?
Brian’s Nickelbox, Phoenix Edition: System of a Down – When I was younger, I put System of a Down in my nickelbox and burnt it. And now it rises from the ashes.
What song(s) put them in the Nickelbox in the first place?
What song(s) put them in the Phoenixelbox?
Art the Arbiter – America’s Drive-In Sonic sucks more than ever
This Is The Newz
Dog abandoned for being ‘gay’ gets adopted by a gay couple
300 Drones Formed a QR Code That Rick Rolled Dallas on April Fools’ Day
Author of ‘How to Murder Your Husband’ now on trial for husband’s murder
Metairie man rigs flash bang in truck to deter break-ins
Michigan rep who pushed drunk-driving expungement arrested on 2nd OWI charge
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Soak in a sand bath in Beppu, Japan’s famous onsen region
For those who want it thiccc – Japanese vending machine allows you to choose drink thickness
For the working otaku – Convertible bags you can take to work and anime/idol events
What I Had For Lunch
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Added June 24th, 2022
Episode 234: Other People’s Pizza
“Hooked On Ass Eating. It’s like Hooked On Phonics but instead of reading, it’s ass eating.” If that line made you smile or chuckle, then this audio exhibition was made just for you.
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FMK – Britney, Paris, Lindsay
‘Everybody Hurts’ by R.E.M. voted saddest song of all time
The 1993 ballad was followed by Sinead O’Connor’s ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ – while ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ by Queen was named as the happiest song
Signs of the Times: The end of Domino’s $5.99 2-Topping Mediums
Wing sauce flights
Arthur was incorrect. Burrito did not actually pay extra for tomatoes at Whataburger, but McDonald’s charges extra for tomatoes.
Cloaca cars – cars covered in bird poop
Let them eat boo cake
Bryan the Bachelor: fountain drink refill
This Is The Newz
North Carolina woman fights to keep her ‘FART’ license plate
Wallet with $4,000 lost in Times Square incredibly returned to owner
Florida man shoplifts a crossbow by stuffing it down his pants
Florida teacher beaten and hospitalized after attack by 5-year-old student
Man gets harpoon stuck in his penis because he allegedly didn’t make his wife dinner
Box of human heads stolen from truck in Denver
I deliberately catfished men with a fake dating profile to prove how shallow they are
Man sentenced to 3 years in federal prison over Pokémon card
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese potato chip maker to sell potato-growing kits
Revolutionary Alliance of Unpopular Men protest against Christmas on streets of Tokyo
Hokkaido man arrested after daring daylight theft of 141 super balls
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Added June 17th, 2022
Episode 233: Sloppy Toppy
If you are searching for the most thought-provoking conversations from scholar-gentlemen, then look no further than The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast. This time around, we finish reviewing the , deliver our infamous odd news commentary, and drop more of that quality banter that you expect from your favorite part-time friends.
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Slam City Reviews Cleveland.com’s “The 100 greatest pop punk songs of all time”, Part 4: The Top 15
Japanese pro gamer kicked off e-sports team after saying short men shouldn’t have human rights
Tekken pro asks guys under 170 centimeters (67 inches) tall to “please live your life with the idea ‘I have no human rights’ in your mind.”
Sitcom brainstorm: Sloppy Toppy
This Is The Newz
Man stunned when his dog lands £40 speeding ticket driving on motorway
Fans Confused After ‘Wheel Of Fortune’ Contestant Wins Car On ‘Incorrect’ Answer
Study Finds Men With a Sense of Humor More Likely to Make Woman Orgasm
Driverless car appears to flee the scene after being pulled over by cops
Harmful chemicals found in toys and canned food at US discount stores
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Burger King releases the King Yeti on Japan
Optimus Prime and Megatron are now officially cute anime girls with Transformers Bishoujo
Police baffled by bizarre guard rail crime theft crime spree in Japan
What I Had For Lunch
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Added June 12th, 2022
Episode 232: Pop Punk Part 3
Discover what everyone on the other side of the tracks is raving about and listen to the thought-provoking conversations from the scholar-gentlemen of Slam City about pop-punk music and odd but interesting news.
Alternate episode title: “Part Three of a Review of the 100 Greatest Pop Punk Songs of All Time (and Then Some)”
Discarded episode title candidates: “The Worst You Take From Every Heart You Break”, “Crashing a Hotel Room”, “Mausoleum”
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Slam City Reviews Cleveland.com’s “The 100 greatest pop punk songs of all time”, Part 3: 50 through 16
Counting down the 100 best songs in the genre’s history, from Ramones Green Day to Blink-182 and Paramore.
Happy birthday Windows 3.1, it’s been a great 30 years
Windows 3.1 is now 30 years old. The operating system launched back on April 6, 1992, and introduced several features that have since become ubiquitous.
This Is The Newz
Lovestruck man fell for ‘Esther’ who he met online – but was fleeced of £160,000
Body of slain Maryland rapper Goonew propped up on nightclub stage in ‘horrifying’ display for public showing: reports
Human Corpse Ejected From Transport Van, Horse In Trailer OK In Multi-Vehicle Crash On Route 17
Whataburger debuts Spicy Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit, 2 new items
Lawsuit: MultCo man finds semen in salad at Red Robin
St. Louis restaurant stands up to Los Angeles ‘influencer,’ strikes nerve
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese man caught using fake IDs to sneak into matchmaking parties with younger women
70-year-old arrested after brawl with over 10 bikers
Senior in Takaoka City arrested for stealing up to 50 tanuki statues
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Added June 02nd, 2022
Episode 231: Cellophane
Keep your ears warm and your pants tight with the witty banter and odd news commentary from The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast.
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Slam City Reviews Cleveland.com’s “The 100 greatest pop punk songs of all time”, Part 2: 74 through 51
Counting down the 100 best songs in the genre’s history, from Ramones Green Day to Blink-182 and Paramore.
BNN DXQ: Dating service in a vending machine? Burrito explains and asks Arthur to Arbit some curious, and potentially nefarious, pricing.
Ref: There’s a Tokyo vending machine that sells love in a can (or a shot at it)
And here we were thinking cans of hot green tea were amazing.
This Is The Newz
I refused to fart in front of my boyfriend & ended up in hospital having surgery
Paralysed man communicates first words in months using brain implant: ‘I want a beer’
British Woman Breaks World Record for Most Chicken McNuggets Eaten in One Minute
The future of fast food is a 12ft-square robot vending machine
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japan’s best-selling beer is changing its recipe for the first time in 35 years
Yep, that’s a whole ice cream cone as a ramen topping, as this restaurant in Japan offers
Free anti-embarrassment bags to be handed out at Comiket
What I Had For Lunch
Wes Burrito has a Quarter Pounder with Cheese for the first time in a long time.
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Added May 28th, 2022
Episode 230: Flavour of the Week
Listen to a conversation taped at Daddy Juice Energy Studio in the Beaded Curtain District. Discover a shared experience that you’ve been craving all this time.
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Slam City Reviews Cleveland.com’s “The 100 greatest pop punk songs of all time”, Part 1: 100 through 75
Counting down the 100 best songs in the genre’s history, from Ramones and Green Day to Blink-182 and Paramore.
BNN DXQ: Tokyo police admit to losing 38 citizens’ personal data… that was stored on floppy disks
Data for the 2021 investigation was provided in a format most people stopped using more than a decade ago.
This Is The Newz
Brazilian Woman Hospitalized with Trapped Gas as She Couldn’t Fart in Front of Partner
Woman’s ‘UTI’ was actually glass tumbler lodged in bladder for 4 years
Police say Burger King employee shot at customer who threw mayonnaise at her
Russian fast-food chain replacing McDonald’s reveals near-identical branding
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japan is opening a video gaming/esports high school, and the idea isn’t as crazy as it sounds
Japanese gamer gear company’s gaming massager wants to keep your fingers, palms in fighting shape
Get huge discounts on Japanese hotels… provided you’re a space alien (or claim to be one)
What I Had For Lunch
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Added May 20th, 2022
Episode 229: Voices of Greason
Hold on to your pueblos while you travel through the Quantimino™ with triple uranium hosts Gemini, Burrito, and Arthur as they bring you into their thought-provoking and entertaining conversations.
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Tech trends, old and new: Phone calling, paper, digital, wet signatures, cursive, checks
A look back at the cord-cutting movement
Food porn, ASMR, mukbang, pimple-popping, feet
Invents the Newz: Bitdefender Uncovers Serious Flaws In Wyze Security Cameras
Connected security cameras with streaming video and two-way audio are a great way to keep tabs on what happens at your home when you’re not there. They can also be a great way for hackers to spy on and terrorize victims.
Having a tinkle, a piddle? Draining the ol’ lizard? Taking a whizz, a leak, ‘scuse me but I gotta see a man about a horse… So many ways to say it but the real question is: sit or stand? Wait, is that a question? Smahtman Burrito whips out the stats!
Do men in Japan stand or sit to urinate? Survey reveals some surprising discoveries about men’s toilet habits.
This Is The Newz
It Seems Like a Lot of You Are Cheating at Wordle
Is Someone (Really) Trying To Sue Burger King Over Too-Small Burgers?
Study Finds More Americans Have Anal Sex Than Use Twitter
Man at hotel accidentally shoots himself in testicles
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese hot spring charges almost 35 bucks for bucket of uncooked carrots, otaku likely to pay up
Japanese government now officially allowed to use question marks and exclamation points
Two men hit by woman falling out of window… who was looking at another man who fell off rooftop
What I Had For Lunch
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Added May 12th, 2022
Episode 228: Cheese Eaters Self-Sucking By Proxy
We saved you a seat at our lunch table, the Quantinimo™ powered podcast known across the universe as Slam City. Brian, Burrito, Gemini, and Arthur penetrate deep inside your ears with thought-provoking conversations that reflect the future of humanity today.
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Paging Art the Arbiter: when cheeseburgers costs the same as a hamburger
Our Whataburger All-Time Favorites
Ug Lee memorial but more so, reminiscing about Salute Your Shorts
Salute Your Shorts ice cream episode, Zeke the Plumber
Hey Dude
DXQ BNN Edition: Useless pillow? Budget sex doll? Can these thiccc thighs save lives? Slam City you be the judge! All in favor, say THIGH.
Busty anime girl mouse pad alternative: Life-size zaftig-thighed video game girl mousepad
This Is The Newz
Apple to replace iPhone with metaverse ‘contact lens’ that lets you live in VR
Company Offers Employees Masturbation Breaks With W*** Pods And VR
Ice Cream Machine Hackers Sue McDonald’s for $900 Million
Last summer’s heat wave in B.C. caused bees to ejaculate to death
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Nara deer stampede into marathon, hit runner in their path
Tokyo woman with signal blocked-TV loses appeal contesting her obligation to pay NHK fees
New Japanese hotpot restaurant directs you to melt an adorable bear like a movie villain
What I Had For Lunch
After Party: Klobasnek’s
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Added May 06th, 2022
Episode 227: Savory Pie
Immerse yourself with The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast and take an audio journey through the unique minds of the scholar-gentlemen from Slam City. Bring a change of clothes.
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Brian pays $1k to have his balls lathered in goo
Hottest dating tip they’ll never, ever tell you. (Hint: Martin McFly shoes)
Twitch streamer Amouranth is now selling her farts in a jar for £750 ($1000) a pop
DXQ BNN Edition: Do you remember flip phones? Japan remembers. And they’re releasing a new one! Garakei, keitai denwa, sumatofon, sumaho, somafo, flip phone/feature phone, wtf does all this mean? Burrito explains!
Major Japanese phone company rolls out a brand-new flip phone
Shiny new old-school tech isn’t aimed only at people not ready to let go of what’s always worked for them.
This Is The Newz
Burger King Is Reducing Its Nugget Count Due to Supply Chain Issues
Krispy Kreme Launches First-Ever TWIX Doughnuts
Woman Attacked With Feces to Face, Head While Waiting for NYC Subway at Rush Hour
Scottish woman checks bank account after six decades, $3.35 became $335
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
14-year-old Japanese girl tosses cart from roof of Don Quijote, arrested for attempted murder
Stalker uncovered after committing hit and run while driving victim’s car
McDonald’s Japan adds a Beef Stew Pie to the menu, with an epic commercial to mark the release
What I Had For Lunch
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Added April 30th, 2022