Episode 284: We’re Going To A Party
Gemini, Brian, and Arthur discuss beefy farts, jzzn blood, meeting their 15-year-old selves, a lifetime of loadz, toothpicks, hyperemployment, power napping, fortune cookies, and odd news. Bring a change of clothes.
Double X Quantimino
Yuh boyz chuckle about fartz – Ref: haven’t had beef in a while
If you had to choose: jzz blood OR jzz white but get brainfreeze every time?
Ripped from a tweet: “You got to meet your 15-year-old self for 30 seconds. What would you tell them?”
Guestimation Unknown – A lifetime of loadz
Minutiae Moment – toothpicks
Arthur the Arbiter – “Hyperemployment offers a subtly different way to characterize all the tiny efforts we contribute to Facebook and Instagram and the like… We do tiny bits of work for Google, for Tumblr, for Twitter, all day and every day.”
Power napping
Fortune cookie fortunes
This Is The Newz
Man who gorged 124 kebabs in a month says it left him ‘psychologically’ damaged
Paige Spiranac tells fans looking at her boobs is good for their health
Lottie Moss strips naked for racy shots and says body ‘is there to be enjoyed’
From the McRib to the Choco Taco, 6 foods we lost – Burger King’s Ch’King, Chili’s Original Chicken Tenders, Choco Taco, Honest Tea, McDonald’s McRib, Wendy’s Vanilla Frosty
Melted butter clogs historic canal and storm drains after dairy plant fire in Wisconsin
Nevada parents sue school district over daughter’s ‘pornographic’ assignment
I stopped taking the pill — now I’m gay
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added May 26th, 2023
Episode 283: Cartesian Others
Gemini, Brian, and Arthur discuss traffic, sheets, Ramones, Elizabeth Holmes, panhandlers, a $10 breakfast, weighted blankets, Tevin and Kevin, brain-altering parasites, a $1,000 tip, imported sex dolls, and more odd news.
Double X Quantimino
You are the law. If you had the superpowers to enforce traffic or deliver your own justice, would you?
Sheets
The KKK Took My Baby Away
Hypothetical Meta Analysis – Elizabeth Holmes, Toxic Ladyboss
Giving a Crispy Chicken Sandwich with Extra Crinkle-cut Pickles to a Panhandler
Arthur the Arbiter – Look, I get it BUT Eggs Any Style $10?! Two farm fresh eggs any style, homemade biscuit, choice of bacon or house sausage
This Is The Newz
Target recalls children’s weighted blankets due to 2 asphyxiation deaths
Florida Man Beat Roommate’s Raccoon with Hammer, Threatened to Kill Neighbor with Sewing Needle
McDonald’s delivers empty wrapper to man who unticked every item on his order
M&S executive caught with ecstasy pills and cocaine stuffed inside bra in Fabric
‘Toxic masculinity’ may be caused by an actual, infectious, brain-altering parasite
Florida server surprised with $1,000 tip
Carjackers interrupt couple having sex, leave them naked in the streets
South Korea ends ban on imported sex dolls
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added May 18th, 2023
Episode 282: Mercury Lacks Moons
Gemini, Burrito, and Arthur play a round of Guestimation Unknown then discuss littering, Janeane Garofalo, an 80-hour workweek, wi-fi passwords, grocery prices, Newz, groin itch treatment, and double French toast.
Double X Quantimino
Guestimation Unknown: Huy Fong Sriracha
Arthur almost littered
Keep your name or change it? Hoar
Jen Ecks
Yesterday (2019 film)
Attempting tirelessness AKA Elon’s “hardcore” – 80 to 100 hours a week, every week
The wi-fi password
Grocery store sadness
This Is The Newz
Fake psychic, partner sentenced in $3M fraud scheme
Jury Sides With Big Cheese in Mozzarella Family Feud
Cocaine found in car’s secret compartment during traffic stop
Man hurls wine bottles at NJ liquor store workers who didn’t give him discount
Philadelphia police searching for suspect who stole antique brass railing outside City Hall
Snakes have a clitoris: scientists overcome ‘a massive taboo around female genitalia’
How the chicken lost its penis
Scientists invent 1st ‘vagina-on-a-chip’
‘Finally, my order will be quick and accurate’: McDonald’s fully-automated location with no human employees sparks debate
Man with WWI explosive lodged in his rectum sparks bomb scare, hospital evacuation
Overturned truck spills load of hams, various meats in North Carolina
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
New spreadable French Toast from Japan is a game-changer
Crotch Cup 2022 eSports festival held to raise awareness for groin itch treatment
Miyagi senior’s joke bombs so hard it delays a flight for 50 minutes
Burnt End: Double French Toast After Party
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added May 15th, 2023
Episode 281: Full Lizard feat. Jonathan the Tortoise
Gemini, Burrito, Brian, and Arthur drop some conversation and chuckles about massage therapy, rifle cleaning, hirsutism, ill-equipped restrooms, escaping a time loop, Ketchup Karen, Jonathan the Tortoise, funny T-shirt ideas, train rides, more odd news, and The Three Rules.
Double X Quantimino
Massage therapy from dudes
How to clean your rifle
Hairy limbs
Hypothetical Meta Analysis – An ill-equipped public restroom
Stuck in a time loop, 3.2 seconds, Palm Springs
Your face is like a fingerprint, and Lensa AI is nefarious.
Window seat or aisle?
This Is The Newz
‘Didn’t she ask for extra ketchup? Why is she mad?’: McDonald’s ‘Ketchup Karen’ throws fit over amount of ketchup on her burger
Poker player with ‘boobs out’ promises to ‘nip that behavior in the bud’
Pig hogs bed in Georgia woman’s home: ‘She steals my pillow’
Wordle is 2022’s top Google search term, above both Ukraine and the queen
Home Depot workers track down owner of dropped $700 cash
Jonathan the tortoise, oldest living land creature, celebrates 190th birthday
Book returned to Australian school library was nearly 120 years overdue
I’m so pretty, men treat me like a trophy and women scowl at me
Hooters influencer Ali Spice dead at 21 in car crash
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Cases of people getting unwanted crabs skyrocketing in Japan, salmon too
Japan’s random-destination roll-the-die train tickets: An amazingly cheap way to go… somewhere
Over half a million yen in cash comes floating down river in Toyama
The Three Rules
Rule #1: Overcomplicate Things.
Rule #2: Go Fvck Myself.
Rule #3: n + 1
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added May 08th, 2023
Episode 280: Under The Influence of Brisket and Pasghetti
Gemini, Brian, Burrito, and Arthur discuss maid cafés, bot bigotry, a busy intersection, “Self Esteem” by The Offspring, tipping, ordering at Starbucks, odds news, and Nippon news.
Double X Quantimino
Slam City Maid Café Menu & Daily Specials
Bot bigotry
Dr Smahtman explains a cognitive psych study about tools
Plug In & Hate, Part 1: Stop behind the white line
Deep dive on the lyrics to “Self Esteem” by The Offspring
Disney Files Patent for Roller Coaster that Jumps Track
We ain’t playin’ with this campaign. People are tipping less in this economy, but why are they tipping at all?
Plug In & Hate, Part 2: A woman went viral on TikTok after sharing how she was late to her doctor’s appointment because a customer ordered 38 drinks at Starbucks.
This Is The Newz
Man gets jump-rope stuck in bladder after shoving it into his penis
Hot dog vendor stabbed in alleged turf-war with another hot dog vendor outside Petco Park
Ex-ExxonMobil employee arrested after ‘vault’ of upskirt photos allegedly discovered
Alameda Co. deputy arrested on suspicion of DUI after totaling ‘BBQ’ truck
Houston woman has the world’s largest feet
Hacked digital billboard in Brisbane displays pornography for several minutes
Someone paid over $200,000 for the Birkenstocks that Steve Jobs wore in the garage where he founded Apple
Evacuation orders lifted after hemp plant fire in Grass Valley
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese company uses video game-style hit point badges to help employees know who need a hand
Saitama man arrested for making 9,313 false reservations on luxury trains
AirTag planted on Aichi Prefectural Police car, by someone who doesn’t understand cars well
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added April 28th, 2023
Episode 279: Skipping Rocks
Gemini Jackson, Brian McFly, The Burrito Bandito, and Arthur Dood share an hour of conversation and laughter covering assorted topics for your listening pleasure. Bring a change of clothes.
Double X Quantimino
Hypothetical Meta-Analysis – Daddy Juice Energy scored us a ticket to an Anna Delvey Dinner Party and only one of us can go. Art selected Brian.
Feed the AI, a rapid fire deep dive segment – Memory maps, business hours, conscious time, and fuel consumption
Hypothetical Meta-Analysis – One of us allegedly gropes another podcaster that made a headline.
Have we been playing Super Mario Bros wrong our whole lives? None of us.
This Is The Newz
Sperm counts worldwide are falling even faster than we thought
‘Temporary vasectomy’ trialed in Melbourne: Sperm blocker a world first
Woman feels ‘dehumanized’ as she claims she was kicked off plane over 10kg boobs
TikTok artist entombs bag of Cheetos in 3,000-pound sarcophagus
HelloFresh accused of using coconut milk obtained from monkey labor
Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers sues Indiana shopping center after being told it can’t sell chicken fingers
Man who found £4 million cheque to Haribo rewarded with gummies
Your favorite songs reveal your attachment style: New psychology research
Wait, Are We Really Supposed to Tip 25% Everywhere Now?
Woman Cops To Meat Beating At Ohio Walmart
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japan’s first-ever wanko soba conveyor belt restaurant opens in Tokyo
Tokyo man arrested for putting brother’s skull out for recycling collection
Gifu man arrested for entering other person’s home and hanging women’s underwear to dry
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Slam City Radio 24/7 x https://slamcity.co/scr247/
Added April 19th, 2023
Episode 278: Sliding Up Camelz
Somewhere in the Quantimino, a Limp Bizkit album, an Olsen Twins Countdown Clock, and an hour’s worth of other miscellany become part of an amusing conversation with four intergalactic boba runners.
Double X Quantimino
Juicy Fruit
Quoted wait times / 6 to 8 weeks
Guestimation Unknown – Art brings a trivial stat, then your star players guess how many.
This Is The Newz
Hospice nurse charged for allegedly cutting off man’s foot without permission
Burrito’s Dad the Orderly’s Patient’s Toe Fell Off Story
McDonald’s Created a Grease-Proof Gaming Chair
I’m too pretty to work — f–k getting up at 6 a.m. every day for 60 years
Cobra dies after being bitten by eight-year-old boy in India
Florida traveler stuffed gun into a raw chicken and tried to bring it on the plane
Dog seen carrying severed human arm leads police to decapitated body
Former CIA master of disguise helps disfigured people come out of hiding
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Sasuke: Ninja Warrior may be coming to the Los Angeles Olympics in 2028
Tokyo Police apprehend the “Lego Kid” and accomplices
Charges dropped against elderly Japanese man for nailing Putin voodoo doll to sacred shrine tree
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Slam City Radio 24/7 x https://slamcity.co/scr247/
Added April 06th, 2023
Episode 277: The Dogga Collection, Hot Takes, and Pontifications Under Duress
A glitch in the Quantimino caused the DXQ session for this episode to not be captured on the audio recording device. Instead of our usual amazing banter, we start you off with a continuation of the Booba Gettz story dreamed up by ChatGPT and read by a human. Then, we put together an encore presentation of a multi-part highlight from Season 3, “DOGGA, The Dog Saga” with some selected audio gems from previous episodes mixed in. Nearing the hour mark is most of the salvaged audio after the glitch.
“A Possible Continuation of the Story of Booba Gettz Getting Stuck in the Quantimino” by ChatGPT, narrated by Tyranbell
DOGGA, The Dog Saga: The Complete Collection + Hot Takes from Double X Quantimino
“A Tipping Conspiracy”, from Episode 210
“Dogga, The Dog Saga – Part 1: The Note”, from Episode 210
“Cookie”, from Episode 221
“Cuatro Leches Cake”, from Episode 221
“Dogga, The Dog Saga – Part 2: Neighbors Downstairs”, from Episode 213
“Steel Drumz”, from Episode 212
“Dogga, The Dog Saga – Part 3: Pete and Kathleen”, from Episode 215
“Tamale Pilot”, from Episode 211
“Dogga, The Dog Saga – Part 4: Cuadraphonic Canine Cacophony”, from Episode 219
“Ramen Coke”, from Episode 213
“Dogga, The Dog Saga – Part 5: PAID Parking Spot”, from Episode 236
“Fred Flintstone”, from Episode 211
“Dogga, the Dog Saga – Part 6: Revenge?”, from Episode 249
This Is The Newz
“The Great Monkey Escape: Monkeys escape after truck carrying 100 animals to a laboratory crashes in US”, from Episode 217
At about 55:36, the salvaged audio from the Slam City episode “Pontification Under Duress” begins.
Newz (continued)
Man repulsed as he learns girlfriend of three years showers once every 2 weeks
‘World’s dirtiest man’ Amou Haji — who last showered 60 years ago — dead at 94
Deepfaked: ‘They put my face on a porn video’
B.C. man who paid sex worker $300 ‘out of kindness’ pleads guilty to assault
Customer Calls Out Burger King Pricing: ‘Makes No Sense’
Antihistamines found in street drugs, hampers effectiveness of naloxone
Man Allergic to His Own Orgasm Actively Avoids Sleeping With Girlfriend
Motorcycle rider arrested after speeding at 115 MPH, flipping off Las Vegas police
Headless body trial: Woman guilty of murdering and decapitating friend
Father, son convicted in assault spurred by Pokemon Go
Burrrito’s Nippon Newz
Aichi woman arrested for mixing human excrement into school lunch
Demand for Poop Money Drill textbooks backed up, orders suspended until system cleared out
Japanese company develops trash can that freezes garbage to prevent bad smells
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added March 27th, 2023
Episode 276: Forget The Lmnz
Escape with your part-time friends Gemini, Brian, Burrito, and Arthur as they discuss “pumping”, a parking lot staredown, calling dibs at a long pig feast, downloading music, a mystery lottery winner, harem anime, odd news, Nippon news, and what The Burrito Bandito had for lunch.
Double X Quantimino
Pump
Us Versus Youts, a Target parking lot staredown
A Long Pig Feast – Which piece(s) are you calling dibs?
Napster, Morpheus, Kazaa, Soulseek, et al: the pirated music downloaded services that left us with different impressions of albums that shaped us
Wishful thinking – lottery winnings windfall and how it would affect you – commentary on news story: Mystery lottery winner in cartoon costume: Chinese man who won US$30.6 million jackpot keeps windfall secret so family won’t become conceited
“A man in southern China who won just under 220 million yuan (US$30.6 million) in the lottery said he had not told his wife and child because he was worried the money could make them arrogant and lazy.”
Harem
This Is The Newz
NASCAR racer stuns crowd, uses video game-inspired technique to qualify for championship
1959 Chevy Corvette Seized by Police Returned to Owner After 5 Years With $28K in Damage
We’re naming our baby after a restaurant chain – people say he’ll be bullied
Ex-Heavyweight Boxer Charged After $1B Cocaine Haul Seized
Scientists Finally Learned More About the Clitoris
Food that looks like family: Michigan mom makes hilarious meatloaf resembling her son
484 pounds of bologna and 285 pounds of cheese seized at the Texas border, feds say
Convicted USF medical services accountant claims nearly half of stolen $12.8M went to ‘webcam’ girlfriend
Coal spills along Kansas highway after semi rollover
Burrrito’s Nippon Newz
Personal information of everyone in Amagasaki City lost by person who passed out drunk on street
Ruling reached in lawsuit between 7-Eleven Japan, rogue owner who didn’t stay open 24 hours a day
Burger King Japan offering all-you-can-eat quadruple cheeseburgers
What The Burrito Bandito Had For Lunch
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added March 20th, 2023
Episode 275: Northeast Glisan Street
On a relaxing October morning, Gemini, Brian, Burrito, and Arthur, with their special guests Kit and Ignacio, recorded this episode of Slam City with their phones in an Airbnb near Northeast Glisan Street in Portland, Oregon. You’re a fly on the wall.
Double X Quantimino
Throwback music
The Slam City “time travel” trope
A lyrical discussion: “Four of fish and finger pies” – What would you do for a finger pie?
Headline: I used a dating app to meet millionaires. I got to travel the world, get fancy gifts, and learn a lot from my relationships.
BNN on DXQ: Do most Japanese Gen Z music lovers skip the guitar solo in songs? Survey finds out
This Is The Newz
SJFD investigates video of bikini-clad woman exiting fire truck
What Would You Pay for an Empty Chip Bag?
Doctor Removes 23 Forgotten Contact Lenses From Patient’s Eye
Thumbs-up emoji branded ‘inappropriate’ by Gen-Z – but older generations stand by it
Burrrito’s Nippon Newz
Vending machine with in-flight meals becomes a sell-out hit at Haneda Airport in Japan
Akiba Dental Clinic: The Akihabara dentist where a moe maid in cosplay cleans your teeth
Robot finger covered in living skin developed by University of Tokyo
Hosts: Gemini Jackson, Brian McFly, The Burrito Bandito, Arthur Dood
Special Guests: Kit Hunter, Ignacio Bullfrog
Audio Editor: Jaymark
Mixing Assistant: Undogmatic
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added March 10th, 2023