Episode 269: Grab Your Goggles
Join Gemini, Brian, Burrito, and Arthur for a long conversation covering assorted topics about life, odd news, and what they had for lunch.
Double X Quantimino
The Burrito Bandito moved into a new glory hole
Irreplaceable nostalgia
Holding parking spots
“We didn’t have coffee.”
Is Leonardo DiCaprio playing Brian McFly in the Slam City movie?
Swiped on a shorty
Six bucks to eternal sunshine Brian’s mind to remember Alyssa P at QT
What’s your Cheers?
Gemini’s brownies were not delivered
Peter Popoff’s miracle water
Samus Aran’s Zero Suit
This Is The Newz
See Papa John’s new pizza bowls: Just toppings, no crust
Archaeologists discover one of the largest phallic sculptures of ancient Rome
Cheap rental trucks are the trendy new date night hotspot
Scared beachgoers call police over ‘murdered woman’ as sex doll washes up
(Lovefool feline singalong)
Oscar Mayer Introduces First-Ever Hot Dog-Flavored Ice Pops
Fan to marry a can of Hard Mountain Dew in Vegas ceremony
Alfredo sauce spill partially closes Tennessee highway
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Tufts of shed polar bear fur among the gacha prizes at Japan’s newest crazy capsule toy machine
(“Tufts of shed polar bear fur” to the tune of Scar Tissue + chimpanzee epithets)
Super Mario umbrellas let you recreate scenes from the Nintendo classic on rainy days
Saiki City accidentally let resident claim 1.3 million yen in gift certificates
What I Had For Lunch
Tentative titles: Bellyflops and Fever Dreams, Three Irises and a Slide, Lost in the Sauce, Drenched
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added January 19th, 2023
Episode 268: The Thin Greasy Line Betwixt Civilization and Chaos
Welcome, welcome, ladies, gentlemen, and of course, you scholars. Your fearless and greasy host Gemini Jackson, model of the millennium Brian McFly, and resident hyena Arthur Dood bring you another thought-provoking episode of The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast.
Double X Quantimino
Brian went to an Asian shopping center and wondered why the bookstore’s restroom was for employees only.
Arthur gives his body a break by pausing his fast food indulgence.
Remember Chris Gaines?
The fascination with minimum wage fast food jobs
This Is The Newz
Banana split: artists set for court battle over who first taped fruit to the wall
Man tests positive for monkeypox, COVID and HIV at the same time
Uranus Opens And Closes Daily To Let Out Planet’s Hot Wind
Woman slips handcuffs and shoots at police
A Slam City Re-enactment: Wrong Wendy’s order leads to shootout in Texas
Burnt End: Ibiza Dance Party
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Added January 12th, 2023
Episode 267: Echoes From An Uncanny Valley
A deep but humorous discussion between alleged humanoids about observations and experiences in the macrocosm. Is this sentient AI or just some funny people trying to make you chuckle?
Double X Quantimino
Brainstorm: Brian’s one-hour comedy special announcer intro
Wrestler names
Finishing touches
Kangaroo nipples
Paper coupons, moldy bacon, free bacon
The Unwatch List – Something you watched, even invested time in, that you wish you could unwatch and get your time back
This Is The Newz
Las Vegas landlord requires tenant on Section 8 to sign sex contract in order to lease home
Missing child found in Florida teacher’s home
Man who intended to resell body parts on Facebook allegedly bought stolen human remains
A woman drove 60 yards through the second floor of a mall in the Boston area
Old laptop hard drives will allegedly crash when exposed to Janet Jackson music
What I Had For Lunch
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Added January 05th, 2023
Episode 266: Charismatic Megafauna
From the greasiest fellows that your parents may have warned you about: time dilation, a mysterious SD card, cheesy pizza, SPMD, a wing bar’s feeble attempt for socmed promo, Brian’s Animal Corner, jet packs, Axe body spray, anti-tipping, cashing million-dollar checks, more odd news, and Luntch.
Double X Quantimino
Time dilation
Hypothetical Meta Analysis: Mysterious SD card
Cheesy pizza?
Same Person Mother-Daughter (SPMD)
Correct Arthur’s thinking: Winning a $30 gift card
This Is The Newz
Brian’s Animal Corner
Snake bites 2-year-old girl, who bites it back until it dies
Monkeys Are Masturbating With Stone Sex Toys, Researchers Find
How to stop your vacuum from spying on you
Off the tracks, part 1: Jet packs and shirt cannons launching cans of Daddy Juice Energy attached to small parachutes
Man arrested for stealing only Axe Body Spray
Changes to how Pennsylvania’s tipped workers are paid and overtime for salaried workers
Police close eight-year-old girl’s lemonade stand as she doesn’t have a license
Man scammed 11-year-old’s lemonade stand with fake $100 bill
Off the tracks, part 2: Cashing Million-Dollar Checks
Woman’s shock at $2600 ‘penis’ table
Missouri pastor says congregation is ‘poor, broke, busted’ for not buying him a luxury Movado watch
Man convicted for spending spree after $31,000 bank error
Why Bacon Tastes So Much Better At Diners Than At Home
What I Had For Lunch
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Added December 30th, 2022
Episode 265: Panic Mixie Dream Boats
Manic pixie dream boats young and old, stuff your ear holes with a mixtape from Felonious Cheeseburger.
Double X Quantimino
One of Mike’s Minions called Arthur “boss”
Is Jersey Mike’s sandwiches really “a sub above”?
Brian McFly is not a manic pixie dream boy boat.
Idris won’t be the next 007.
This Is The Newz
Top scientist admits ‘space telescope image’ was actually a slice of chorizo
FDA approves first condom specifically intended for anal sex
Semi-truck full of Bud Light overturns on Kentucky highway spilling cans everywhere
Truck loses porta-potties on highway; several cars damaged
Reusable Toilet Cloth Viral Trend Is Making People Cringe
Man Hid Cherry Pies Under Women’s Car Tires To See Them Bend Over
Ex-Ohio court mediator arrested; allegedly sent feces to GOP
Constipated bloke had water bottle up his bum but was too scared to tell wife
Couple charged for allegedly having sex on Giant Wheel at Cedar Point
GA murder suspect arrested after calling the police over cold fries
Man accused of shooting NYC McDonald’s worker over cold fries slapped with 2020 murder charge
Wendy’s worker charged with murder after punching customer in Prescott Valley
Boyfriend Jailed After Felonious Cheeseburger Battery At Burger King
Chicken wing prices are cheaper now than they were before the pandemic
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Added December 26th, 2022
Episode 264: Goblin Mode Supplemental
Goblins young and old, stuff your ear holes with this.
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Racks
Paul McCartney died in 1966?
Strip mall blues
Mushrooms
Where we at with groceries?
Meeting your doppelganger
Keeping your phone clean
This Is The Newz
Man faces deportation after being caught masturbating in his car alone
Woman ‘wasn’t prepared for price’ after taking four kids for chicken and chips
Noblesville killed $5.5M development deal because of adult baby shop
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Osaka’s Hotel Games isn’t just full of board games, it is a game!
Japan has instant ramen booster packs, and we’re not even trying to restrain ourselves
Doughnuts and fried chicken come together in new Mister Donut Burger
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Added December 22nd, 2022
Episode 263: Cantina Taco Satellite, Plunger Duck Theory, Luntch
Brutally honest and humorous, just the show that you’ve been looking forward to all week.
Double X Quantimino
Locus of Control – A mildly disappointing Taco Bell experience earlier this week that stung long enough to be DXQ’d
So bad it’s good. But if it was good, it wouldn’t be as good (e.g. cafeteria food, McD’s Sausage Burrito, Bagel Bites, roller dogs, etc.).
Hypothetical Meta Analysis/Brainstorm Session: SC hosts are required by their management and contractual obligation to make a public appearance at a comic-con after finishing their 3-year $100M contract but have elected to don masks to retain their anonymity and protect their personal lives. What are their masks?
GB creampie order
ATP
This Is The Newz
A College Student Discovered a Powerful Cloudflare Email Bug
Martin Shkreli is using Google Docs to find women who f*ck on the first date
A quick review of Nitro Pepsi
Why a waitress always give the man the bill – not everyone agrees
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japan respectfully says goodbye to a single bamboo shoot in Kyoto
Japanese schools banning nicknames, mandating use of -san divides opinions
LED gaming chopsticks are here for your mid-game munchies or whenever you eat in the dark
What I Had For Luntch
Tentative titles: Semitones Kind of Life, Disabled Duck, Always Something, Five Dollar Boxes at the Turnpike
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Added December 13th, 2022
Episode 262: How To Decorate Flowers (By Plastic) or Play It Loud, White Tiger
From tip to taint, Gemini Jackson and the Loud Table tape this work of Art at the Daddy Juice Energy Studio in the Beaded Curtain District to bring you the best conversation topics, news commentary, and laughs from your side of the Quantimino™. Bring a change of clothes.
Double X Quantimino
Brian unloads all of their frustrations on spam texters
Arthur the Arbiter – Guy in front of him at the drive-thru used McD’s app to get a $2 spicy 10pc spicy McNugz but still spent $10+ on the meal. Maybe intended for 2 people? But Arthur’s app deal hack is better.
Chorus pedal (Just Like Heaven)
Hypothetical Meta Analysis, Part 1 – How loud are you allowed to go?
Hypothetical Meta Analysis, Part 2 – A pod reviewer referred to Brian McFly as a “white tiger”.
This Is The Newz
Flung pickle token: artist asks $10,000 for McDonald’s burger ingredient
Police say people pretending to play violin for money a ‘nationwide issue’
Forgotten Subway sandwich ends up costing young woman $1,844
Want free Subway sandwiches for life? Get a foot-long tattoo
Klondike’s Choco Taco Discontinued After Almost 40 Years
Burrito’s Nippon News
We try new ‘adrift at sea’ experience and end up floating alone on the Yamaguchi coast
Security guard arrested in Shizuoka for abandoning 13 liters of urine at pachinko parlor
Japanese AI device reads stories to your kid with your voice, even if you’ve never read them
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Added November 29th, 2022
Episode 261: Locusts of Ctrl
From tip to taint, Slam City covers the happenings of dudes in a booth, odd news, lunch, and learning new things. Recorded at Daddy Juice Energy Studio in the Beaded Curtain District, your all-time favorite part-time friends bring you a triple uranium podcast designed to help you unwind.
Double X Quantimino
Hypothetical Meta Analysis: “Successful people without any malice will credit their success largely to their own hard work and ingenuity and therefore contribute less to maintaining the very circumstances that made that success possible in the first place.”
Locus of Control
Arthur the Arbiter: Another Arthur places an online pickup order at Whataburger around the same time this Arthur does.
P.O. Broad
Found Objects
Tipsimping
This Is The Newz
This Grandma’s Dying Wish Was a Giant Dick on Her Grave
Nudist Shoots Exhibitionist Dead for Etiquette Breach
100-pound sailfish stabs woman, 73, on fishing trip in Florida
Chess robot grabs and breaks finger of seven-year-old opponent
Dead Spiders Work as ‘Necrobotic’ Grippers to Pick Up Heavier Objects
Nick Cannon Welcomes Baby No. 8, His First with Model Bre Tiesi: ‘Beautiful Miracle’
Burrito’s Nippon News
1,600 empty seats at major Japanese gymnastics competition reserved by single unpaying person
Miyazaki City mistakenly sends over 2M yen in meat to 140 people, instructs them to eat it anyway
Train conductor left behind by own train in Japanese countryside, proves he didn’t really need it
What I Had For Lunch
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Added November 24th, 2022
Episode 260: Nuclear Winter (Prequel to The Tipping Point), Tempura Cigarettes, Put Down the Box Cutter, Johnny’s 9-Hour Samurai
Gemini, Burrito, and Arthur discuss tipping, hot dog buns, the window-cracking myth, Lofi Girl, Burger King, Taco Bell, remote work, being stalked by a fan, and then some. Brian calls in during BNN while he waits for his turn on the stand-up comedy stage.
Double X Quantimino
Tipping Point
Bun dilemma, cheeseburger dogs
Cracking your car windows on a hot day is a myth.
This Is The Newz
Lofi Girl Returns: YouTube Apologizes For Removing Popular Music Stream Due To ‘Abusive’ Copyright Notice
Mom claims ‘traumatized’ daughter found cigarette in Burger King fries
Man to eat Taco Bell for 30 days to find if fast food can be healthy
Elon Musk says remote workers are just pretending to work.
Burrito’s Nippon News
High school girl arrested for stalking Johnny’s 7 MEN Samurai member (Brian calls in.)
This Japanese capsule hotel tells you how many times you snore during the night
Ghibli found out about the unofficial Ghibli cafe in Nagoya…then something very sweet happened
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Added November 16th, 2022