Slam City

Lasagna hogs, tuna, MeToo’d, tipping robots, a re-enactment at a gas station, Kadabra, LVTOFU, woodcocks, condom-wrapped banana extraction, $295K for a testicle, quolls, $1.5M in stolen chicken wings, fast food Newz, a wearable beanbag, real-time shade info, Ice Whopper, and Yakuza-theme love hotel rooms.

Double X Quantimino

Palindromes follow-up: “go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog”

Tuna salad vs tuna sushi

Hypothetical Meta Analysis – Slam City Gets MeToo’d

The easiest answer to a not-so-deep dive – Should you tip a robot? But the real matter here: Service charges!?

Re-enactment – Gas station staff left horrified after finding severed human penis in car park

This Is The Newz

Kadabra Will Finally Return To Pokémon Card Game After 18-Year Ban

Texas DMV rejects vegan license plate for ‘vulgar’ phrase

Bird charity locked out of Twitter after woodcock tweets

Surgeons extract condom-wrapped banana man ate in ‘hormonal rage’ fit

Man who lost testicle from getting hit by supervisor awarded more than $295,000

Sex and no sleep may be killing endangered quolls

Vera Liddell allegedly stole $1.5M in chicken wings from Illinois schools

Salty strike: Arby’s employees quit after posting vulgar message on restaurant sign

A Chick-fil-A restaurant’s traffic got so bad that city officials ordered it to be demolished and plan to build a new drive-thru-only location

Burger King’s Latest International Menu Item Does Not Sound Very Appetizing…Or Does It

Wearable Beanbag becomes a hot topic in Japan

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Real-time shade information added to walking app from Navitime Japan

World’s first Ice Whopper on the menu at Burger King Japan

Yakuza-themed love hotel rooms! Great for couples, friends, and business meetings, owners say

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Experiencing music, ChatGPT, an infinite amount of monkeys, Spectrum, time machine, okay, bathing with bottled water, butt bumping on Wheel, Pokemon Yellow, a hot triple amputee model, Amouranth, toilet-shaped plants, Viagra, skipping commercials, the world’s greatest stereo system, stolen Rolex, BNN follow-up, Starbucks creampie

Double X Quantimino

Best experience: listening to the album, listening to a live recording, or attending a live performance?

ChatGPT

Art the Arbiter – Arthur prefers to not have to wipe his ass with cold hard cash. Charter Communications (Spectrum) are crooks.

Time travel never gets old. 🐱 Time Machine

Minutiae Moment – O.K., okay?

Gemini Jackson Does The Math 

Pat Sajak’s Epic Reaction After a ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Contestant “Twerked” on Him

This Is The Newz

An original, sealed copy of Pokemon Yellow worth almost $10,500 has reportedly been ruined by US customs

I’m a triple amputee and a hot model — nothing holds me back

The Surprising Reason Twitch Star Amouranth Hasn’t Ditched NSFW Content (Yet)

These Toilet-Shaped Carnivorous Plants Thrive By Eating Poop

Viagra users are 25% less likely to suffer early death

Sony patent would have you yell at your TV to skip commercials

The world’s greatest stereo system is inside a Virginia home

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Saitama man’s 7M-yen Rolex stolen after leaving it alone with “potential buyer” for two minutes

Man who took entire town’s COVID-19 money now out of jail and turning life around

Starbucks Japan’s new cream pie’s looks are freaking people out

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Midnight snacks, palindromes, 27 years at Burger King, Get 1 Free deals, 400 pushups, pay yourself first, Papa Johns, Evo Moment #37, Corn Flakes, ramen’s history, Newz, BNN, and maybe more than most podcast listeners can handle.

Double X Quantimino

Midnight snacks

Palindromes

Working at Burger King for 27 years with perfect attendance

Buy 3, Get 1 Free

400 pushups for punishment

Bad money habits – pay yourself first with at least 10% into savings?

Was the apostrophe so wet that it fell off!?

Evo Moment #37

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes were created as an ‘anti-masturbatory morning meal’?

Reloading a location-specific payment card

Arthur’s revised thoughts on ramen

This Is The Newz

Recent rains cause Whiskeytown Lake to spill into the Glory Hole

Man accused of shooting other man after oral sex meetup in Florida City

Billionaire Larry Ellison got a speeding ticket on an island he owns while driving a Corvette and told the cop there’s ‘no excuse’

FEMA fires group for nonsensical Alaska Native translations

Amazon delivery driver’s fingertip is left in letterbox after accident

Man arrested for having sex with cow, sent to psychiatrist

“Boy Meets World’s” William Daniels Was In An “Open Marriage” With His Wife Before One Of His Affairs “Devastated” Her

Southbound I-71 reopens after beer truck overturns

Girl, 13, leads Nebraska troopers on 100 mph chase with boy, 11, in the passenger seat

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

69-year-old Tokyo man arrested for driving without a license for over 50 years

Monkeys have attacked more than 60 people in three weeks in one Japanese town

Krispy Kreme releases tit doughnuts in Japan

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Clams, Clam Aiken, lines, tipping, Deftones, flood, Godzilla, cheddar cheese, Napoleon Bonaparte, used sweaters, haggling at Goodwill, dumb phones, the purple dot, cheesy pizza, Spider-Man #14 Angry Girlfriend Variant, Hello Fresh, pigeons with backpacks, jzz cupcakes, Asahi Beer image girls, Booty Royale, and more odd news stories.

Double X Quantimino

Let me tell you about this clam

A question about tipping

How willing would you be to wear a sweater that had previously been worn by a man who’d been “tainted” in some way: infected with tuberculosis, survived a car accident (misfortune taint), or convicted of murder (moral taint)?

Hypothetical Meta Analysis – Ride or Die?, Part 1: Sergio Vega Deftones contract

Ride or Die?, Part 2: A flood will destroy your living space soon and you need to evacuate. You only have time to take what you can carry on yourself. What are you taking?

Guestimation Unknown, Part 1: When Napoleon Bonaparte died, apparently his doctor cut off his penis for the autopsy. In 1977, the penis was eventually sold for how much?

Guestimation Unknown, Part 2: How many pounds of cheddar cheese did the US produce in 2014?

How willing would you be to wear a sweater that had previously been worn by a man who’d been “tainted” in some way: infected with tuberculosis, survived a car accident (misfortune taint), or convicted of murder (moral taint)?

Considering the Light Phone II

Boobs vs Butts

Romeo and Juliet (1968 film)

The Amazing Spider-Man #14 Angry Girlfriend Variant

This Is The Newz

Delivery driver left box full of Hello Fresh food on top of sleeping baby

Pigeon wearing crystal meth ‘like a backpack’ caught inside B.C. prison yard

Six journalists arrested over footage of South Sudan president wetting himself

Louisiana deputy sentenced to 100 years in prison for ejaculating on cupcakes, other crimes

Indian Held for Unruly Behavior With Woman on Airline Flight

Woman with unfortunate initials fed up of being mistaken for a sandwich

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Asahi Beer abolishes “image girl” spokesmodel position, ending practice at big four brewers

Survey finds obesity rates fell, but eyesight worsened among Japanese schoolchildren

No longer able to draw breasts due to family circumstances, manga artist retires

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Gemini, Brian, and Arthur discuss beefy farts, jzzn blood, meeting their 15-year-old selves, a lifetime of loadz, toothpicks, hyperemployment, power napping, fortune cookies, and odd news. Bring a change of clothes.

Double X Quantimino

Yuh boyz chuckle about fartz – Ref: haven’t had beef in a while

If you had to choose: jzz blood OR jzz white but get brainfreeze every time?

Ripped from a tweet: “You got to meet your 15-year-old self for 30 seconds. What would you tell them?”

Guestimation Unknown – A lifetime of loadz

Minutiae Moment – toothpicks

Arthur the Arbiter – “Hyperemployment offers a subtly different way to characterize all the tiny efforts we contribute to Facebook and Instagram and the like… We do tiny bits of work for Google, for Tumblr, for Twitter, all day and every day.”

Power napping

Fortune cookie fortunes

This Is The Newz

Man who gorged 124 kebabs in a month says it left him ‘psychologically’ damaged

Paige Spiranac tells fans looking at her boobs is good for their health

Lottie Moss strips naked for racy shots and says body ‘is there to be enjoyed’

From the McRib to the Choco Taco, 6 foods we lost – Burger King’s Ch’King, Chili’s Original Chicken Tenders, Choco Taco, Honest Tea, McDonald’s McRib, Wendy’s Vanilla Frosty

Melted butter clogs historic canal and storm drains after dairy plant fire in Wisconsin

Nevada parents sue school district over daughter’s ‘pornographic’ assignment

I stopped taking the pill — now I’m gay

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Gemini, Brian, and Arthur discuss traffic, sheets, Ramones, Elizabeth Holmes, panhandlers, a $10 breakfast, weighted blankets, Tevin and Kevin, brain-altering parasites, a $1,000 tip, imported sex dolls, and more odd news.

Double X Quantimino

You are the law. If you had the superpowers to enforce traffic or deliver your own justice, would you?

Sheets

The KKK Took My Baby Away

Hypothetical Meta Analysis – Elizabeth Holmes, Toxic Ladyboss

Giving a Crispy Chicken Sandwich with Extra Crinkle-cut Pickles to a Panhandler

Arthur the Arbiter – Look, I get it BUT Eggs Any Style $10?! Two farm fresh eggs any style, homemade biscuit, choice of bacon or house sausage

This Is The Newz

Target recalls children’s weighted blankets due to 2 asphyxiation deaths

Florida Man Beat Roommate’s Raccoon with Hammer, Threatened to Kill Neighbor with Sewing Needle

McDonald’s delivers empty wrapper to man who unticked every item on his order

M&S executive caught with ecstasy pills and cocaine stuffed inside bra in Fabric

‘Toxic masculinity’ may be caused by an actual, infectious, brain-altering parasite

Florida server surprised with $1,000 tip

Carjackers interrupt couple having sex, leave them naked in the streets

South Korea ends ban on imported sex dolls

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Gemini, Burrito, and Arthur play a round of Guestimation Unknown then discuss littering, Janeane Garofalo, an 80-hour workweek, wi-fi passwords, grocery prices, Newz, groin itch treatment, and double French toast.

Double X Quantimino

Guestimation Unknown: Huy Fong Sriracha

Arthur almost littered

Keep your name or change it? Hoar

Jen Ecks

Yesterday (2019 film)

Attempting tirelessness AKA Elon’s “hardcore” – 80 to 100 hours a week, every week

The wi-fi password

Grocery store sadness

This Is The Newz

Fake psychic, partner sentenced in $3M fraud scheme

Jury Sides With Big Cheese in Mozzarella Family Feud

Cocaine found in car’s secret compartment during traffic stop

Man hurls wine bottles at NJ liquor store workers who didn’t give him discount

Philadelphia police searching for suspect who stole antique brass railing outside City Hall

Snakes have a clitoris: scientists overcome ‘a massive taboo around female genitalia’

How the chicken lost its penis

Scientists invent 1st ‘vagina-on-a-chip’

‘Finally, my order will be quick and accurate’: McDonald’s fully-automated location with no human employees sparks debate

Man with WWI explosive lodged in his rectum sparks bomb scare, hospital evacuation

Overturned truck spills load of hams, various meats in North Carolina

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

New spreadable French Toast from Japan is a game-changer

Crotch Cup 2022 eSports festival held to raise awareness for groin itch treatment

Miyagi senior’s joke bombs so hard it delays a flight for 50 minutes

Burnt End: Double French Toast After Party

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Gemini, Burrito, Brian, and Arthur drop some conversation and chuckles about massage therapy, rifle cleaning, hirsutism, ill-equipped restrooms, escaping a time loop, Ketchup Karen, Jonathan the Tortoise, funny T-shirt ideas, train rides, more odd news, and The Three Rules.

Double X Quantimino

Massage therapy from dudes

How to clean your rifle

Hairy limbs

Hypothetical Meta Analysis – An ill-equipped public restroom

Stuck in a time loop, 3.2 seconds, Palm Springs

Your face is like a fingerprint, and Lensa AI is nefarious.

Window seat or aisle?

This Is The Newz

‘Didn’t she ask for extra ketchup? Why is she mad?’: McDonald’s ‘Ketchup Karen’ throws fit over amount of ketchup on her burger

Poker player with ‘boobs out’ promises to ‘nip that behavior in the bud’

Pig hogs bed in Georgia woman’s home: ‘She steals my pillow’

Wordle is 2022’s top Google search term, above both Ukraine and the queen

Home Depot workers track down owner of dropped $700 cash

Jonathan the tortoise, oldest living land creature, celebrates 190th birthday

Book returned to Australian school library was nearly 120 years overdue

I’m so pretty, men treat me like a trophy and women scowl at me

Hooters influencer Ali Spice dead at 21 in car crash

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Cases of people getting unwanted crabs skyrocketing in Japan, salmon too

Japan’s random-destination roll-the-die train tickets: An amazingly cheap way to go… somewhere

Over half a million yen in cash comes floating down river in Toyama

The Three Rules

Rule #1: Overcomplicate Things.

Rule #2: Go Fvck Myself.

Rule #3: n + 1

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Gemini, Brian, Burrito, and Arthur discuss maid cafés, bot bigotry, a busy intersection, “Self Esteem” by The Offspring, tipping, ordering at Starbucks, odds news, and Nippon news.

Double X Quantimino

Slam City Maid Café Menu & Daily Specials

Bot bigotry

Dr Smahtman explains a cognitive psych study about tools

Plug In & Hate, Part 1: Stop behind the white line

Deep dive on the lyrics to “Self Esteem” by The Offspring

Disney Files Patent for Roller Coaster that Jumps Track

We ain’t playin’ with this campaign. People are tipping less in this economy, but why are they tipping at all?

Plug In & Hate, Part 2: A woman went viral on TikTok after sharing how she was late to her doctor’s appointment because a customer ordered 38 drinks at Starbucks.

This Is The Newz

Man gets jump-rope stuck in bladder after shoving it into his penis

Hot dog vendor stabbed in alleged turf-war with another hot dog vendor outside Petco Park

Ex-ExxonMobil employee arrested after ‘vault’ of upskirt photos allegedly discovered

Alameda Co. deputy arrested on suspicion of DUI after totaling ‘BBQ’ truck

Houston woman has the world’s largest feet

Hacked digital billboard in Brisbane displays pornography for several minutes

Someone paid over $200,000 for the Birkenstocks that Steve Jobs wore in the garage where he founded Apple

Evacuation orders lifted after hemp plant fire in Grass Valley

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Japanese company uses video game-style hit point badges to help employees know who need a hand

Saitama man arrested for making 9,313 false reservations on luxury trains

AirTag planted on Aichi Prefectural Police car, by someone who doesn’t understand cars well

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Gemini Jackson, Brian McFly, The Burrito Bandito, and Arthur Dood share an hour of conversation and laughter covering assorted topics for your listening pleasure. Bring a change of clothes.

Double X Quantimino

Hypothetical Meta-Analysis – Daddy Juice Energy scored us a ticket to an Anna Delvey Dinner Party and only one of us can go. Art selected Brian.

Feed the AI, a rapid fire deep dive segment – Memory maps, business hours, conscious time, and fuel consumption

Hypothetical Meta-Analysis – One of us allegedly gropes another podcaster that made a headline.

Have we been playing Super Mario Bros wrong our whole lives? None of us.

This Is The Newz

Sperm counts worldwide are falling even faster than we thought

‘Temporary vasectomy’ trialed in Melbourne: Sperm blocker a world first

Woman feels ‘dehumanized’ as she claims she was kicked off plane over 10kg boobs

TikTok artist entombs bag of Cheetos in 3,000-pound sarcophagus

HelloFresh accused of using coconut milk obtained from monkey labor

Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers sues Indiana shopping center after being told it can’t sell chicken fingers

Man who found £4 million cheque to Haribo rewarded with gummies

Your favorite songs reveal your attachment style: New psychology research

Wait, Are We Really Supposed to Tip 25% Everywhere Now?

Woman Cops To Meat Beating At Ohio Walmart

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Japan’s first-ever wanko soba conveyor belt restaurant opens in Tokyo

Tokyo man arrested for putting brother’s skull out for recycling collection

Gifu man arrested for entering other person’s home and hanging women’s underwear to dry

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

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