Episode 247: Coherent Dylan and the Department of Billionaires | Lemon/Lime | A Melange of Death | Sweater Pizza
Nobody pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face.
“Theme Song to Burrito’s Nippon Newz” (0:19) at 49:20
Double X Quantimino
Hypothetical Meta-analysis: Accounting error: A check that you already received the money for
What songs have been stuck in your head for years?
Fugue state
Waking up from a coma and everything tastes like 7-Up
Brian: Can someone explain to me “the girlfriend experience”?
Brian matches with a woman from Mexico on Tinder
This Is The Newz
Mona Lisa attacked with cake by ‘man dressed as old lady in wheelchair’
Travis Kelce’s Girlfriend Kayla Nicole Allegedly Broke Up With Him Because He Kept Making Her Pay Half of Everything In The Five Years They Were Dating
15,000 pounds of hot dog filler ‘catapults’ onto roadway following crash
Balenciaga’s ‘full destroyed’ sneakers listed for $1,850
Taco Bell is running out of Mexican Pizza
Monkey Chips
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese man pays nearly $16,000 for life-size dog costume to fulfill his dream of transforming into an animal
Save time AND water by turning your shower into a bath with this nifty Japanese gadget
Electric chopsticks that make low-salt food taste salty developed by Meiji University
What I Had For Lunch
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added September 10th, 2022
Episode 246: Coffee, Tea, Sega
Intergalactic radio giants landed on Earth in a magical place called the Beaded Curtain District in Slam City where they recorded thought-provoking conversations for someone like you.
Double X Quantimino
Quantimino Leap
Arthur the Arbiter: Drive-thru deja vu – pays with change
You’ve been kidnapped. The characters from the last TV show are coming to rescue you. Who is coming to save you?
Burrito’s tea ritual
Caked sh!t
This Is The Newz
Austin St. John – MMPR Red Ranger – Federally Indicted on Wire Fraud
Entire Maine town forced to shut after its only clerk quits over denied vacation
Last NYC public payphone being removed
Highway scramble: 18-wheeler hauling 30,000 pounds of eggs crashes on Dallas freeway
Shooting at McDonald’s not related to Taco Bell shooting yards away
Wisconsin man celebrates 50 years of eating Big Macs every day
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
This Tokyo cafe won’t let you inside unless you’re a writer or translator with a deadline looming
Motorized Electric Gaming Bed from Japan takes gaming furniture to the next level
ASIMO retires from performing after 22 years
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Added September 02nd, 2022
Episode 245: Allegory By The Slice
Gemini, Burrito, and Arthur take you on an almost hour-long conversation made up of observations, insight, realizations, odd news commentary, and what they had for lunch.
Double X Quantimino
Gemini reviews the HBO miniseries Chernobyl
Etymology: Braggadocious
Joy dish soap for handwashing
Booking a doctor’s appointment
Arthur the Arbiter seeks tips to hack AYCE sushi
Minutiae Moment: Saving a dime on a gallon of gasoline ain’t worth the effort these days.
This Is The Newz
Ex-deputy accused of posing as wedding guest to steal gifts
Man arrested for opening door, walking on wing as jet taxis at O’Hare
Fei Long Will Never Appear In Street Fighter Again
Apple discontinues the iPod
Barnacles over boots? City to try new parking enforcement tech
Painting worth £740,000 ruined after ‘bored’ security guard draws eyes on it
Crash covers Missouri road in cans of hard seltzer
Woman exits vehicle in drive thru, car crashes over Chick-fil-A retaining wall
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Six members of Japan’s Self-Defense Forces face punishment for unauthorized curry-eating
New Zero-Second Chicken Ramen leaves zero reasons not to be eating ramen right now
Lowest-rated portable bathtub on Amazon Japan
What I Had For Lunch
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added August 30th, 2022
Episode 244: Pufferfish
The power of Quantimino™ continues from Daddy Juice Energy Studio in the Beaded Curtain District with conversations, jokes, and odd news commentary to make your day that much better.
Double X Quantimino
Fight an orangutan with a sword once a year or fight a chicken every time you get in your car
Update on Brian’s friend who wanted his liver
A Top 30 survey list of Japan’s most popular beers
This Is The Newz
People picking penis pitcher plant poses problems.
Officer ‘motorboated’ subordinate at promotion ceremony, retires after guilty plea
Woman discovered she had second ‘tiny’ vagina while in labor
Mom blindsided when 2-year-old boy orders 31 McDonald’s cheeseburgers from Door Dash
‘She created a McMess’: Polk County woman arrested for calling 911 over McDonald’s order
Activist Removed From Cannes Red Carpet Following Naked Protest Against Sexual Violence In Ukraine
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese teacher suspended for selling a lot of cows without telling the school
Mos Burger’s new French toast: A delicious breakfast with a side of linguistic challenges
Burger King roasts McDonald’s with cryptic message on poster jabbing huge new store in Akihabara
What I Had For Lunch
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added August 26th, 2022
Episode 243: Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With My Duck in My Hand
Join your part-time friends at Daddy Juice Energy Studio in the Beaded Curtain District for thought-provoking conversation, odd news commentary, and What I Had For Lunch.
Double X Quantimino
Continental Breakfast
If you rolled up to this Waffle House, what would you make? What’s your signature Waffle House meal?
What were Gemini and Brian were doing in a JOANN fabric store?
If you and your army were going to conquer Uranus, how would you do it?
Your two toppings on a custom slice of pizza
“Let’s give them something to taco bout”
This Is The Newz
High School junior prom ends early after students yell racial slur while song was playing
Shoppers ‘rather concerned’ after spotting cheap butt plugs on Poundland shelves
Leader of feces-eating cult arrested after 11 dead bodies discovered during raid
Payouts paused after host calls wrong Mega Millions Mega Ball number
Madonna: ‘A lot of thought’ went into fully nude NFTs of her giving birth to centipedes
‘I don’t think I did anything wrong,’ woman who jumped into spider monkey enclosure at El Paso Zoo speaks out
Brian’s Incel Corner
Calling a man bald is sexual harassment, employment tribunal rules
News headline – ‘Having sex with women is gay’: White nationalist praises involuntary celibacy
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese supermarket entrusts customers with unusual discount sticker system
Japan’s supply of Zima runs dry, online resellers take over and jack up prices
Japanese gyaru-turned-mom is more concerned with making her son a gentleman than a scholar
What I Had For Lunch
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added August 22nd, 2022
Episode 242: Culture Is Something You Do With Bacteria
Simulacra / Simulation 242: Culture Is Something You Do With Bacteria, Bolivian River Dolphins on an Anaconda Play Date, How Many Is A Brazilian?, Ghost in the Carapace, Enter Salmon + Intentional Burnt End
Double X Quantimino
What I Hate About Anime
Don’t Wake Daddy
Minutiae Moment: blue beverages
Brian’s Parallel Parking Standoff
This Is The Newz
‘Fictosexual’ Japanese man no longer able to communicate with hologram he married
Horny Dolphins Claim Their Latest Victim: An Anaconda
‘Dead’ woman bangs on coffin to say she’s alive during her own funeral
100-year-old Brazilian breaks record after 84 years at same company
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Road in Chiba plagued by accidents involving shutterbugs seeking “Chiba-fornia” shots
Man threatens to set fire to Sega offices, beat employees’ family members to death
Osaka makes decision on terrifying mascot for upcoming world’s fair
What I Had For Lunch
Gemini distills life – Exit shit. Enter food.
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added August 14th, 2022
Episode 241: Fistula Connection
Ladies, gentlemen, and scholars! Your fearless and greasy hosts of The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast bring you the best conversation topics and odd news commentary curated over a week. The show closes with their original guessing game, What I Had For Lunch. This work of art would not have been possible without the support of Thicccum Farmz, The Crazy One, Julio Tejas, and listeners like you.
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Stone Soup
Bunnicula
Hypothetical Meta-analysis: ATM cash
Fistula connection
John Wayne Gacy Netflix doc
Riding in cars with boys who are also comedians
This Is The Newz
Will sending aliens nudes lure them to us? NASA thinks so.
TikTok ‘rave moms’ changing the male-dominated EDM scene
Navy Officer Held for Allegedly Forcing Recruits to Drink Semen With Fish Sauce
He Was 5’7″. After Surgery, He’ll Be 5’10”.
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Alcoholic sake butter appears in Japan
“I choose BOO!” Gengar engagement and wedding rings are here to haunt your nuptials
Hidden smartphone feature reveals a strange Japanese emoticon
What I Had For Lunch
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Added August 10th, 2022
Episode 240: Lemon Pepper Wet | Guest Lobby John | Redder The Flag, Sweeter The Juice | Strawberry Snowball | The Bros with the Sourcreme Shirt
No other podcast with four dudes in a booth goes longer, faster, or harder than the World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast. Bring a change of clothes.
Double X Quantimino
Follow up + McFly T or F based on mug shots
Ref: Florida bride allegedly laces wedding food with pot, grins as deputies arrive, bodycam shows
Mega Like Dollars
Brian gets his pronouns presumed on the call sheet of a short film he’s doing
Strawberry Snowball
Kings of Leon, Part II
Lemon Pepper Wet
This Is The Newz
Slam City ISD employee out of a job after cryptocurrency mining machines found around schools
Three-legged dog battling cancer rescues baby otter from Minnesota river
Tipping Fatigue May Be Real. But Don’t Take It Out On Restaurant Workers.
This McDonald’s Copycat Restaurant Is Serving Items You Can’t Get Anywhere Else
What I Had For Lunch
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Added July 29th, 2022
Episode 239: Affordable Guitar Licks
Your part-time friends from the Beaded Curtain District join forces to unleash in-depth conversations about custom trading cards, relationships, hypothetical meta-analysis, odd news, and what they had for lunch. This product may cause sudden bursts of uncontrollable laughter.
Double X Quantimino
$3.99 plus tax fountain drink
Accepting that “Oldies” now include 90s grunge and rock
Ref: From Nirvana to Goo Goo Dolls, here’s how Gen Z is revitalizing 90s grunge and rock
After trending on TikTok, Nirvana’s 1991 song “Something In The Way” and Goo Goo Dolls 1998 song “Iris” both re-entered the Billboard charts.
Kangaroo Genitalia
Kangaroos have two penises and their balls are above their dicks. Also, ladyroos have three vaginas.
Kings of Leon
This Is The Newz
Snickers responds to absolutely nuts duck vein rumour
This Software Engineer Designed a Chatbot to Chat With His Girlfriend While He’s Busy at Work
Jessica Simpson’s credit card declined at Taco Bell ‘the other day’
Woman arrested after crashing car, fleeing on foot showed signs of intoxication before bribing deputy with sex to let her go
Woman rescued after falling in toilet trying to get phone
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Pokémon skeletons and fossils now on display at Tokyo’s National Museum of Nature and Science
Sadako now has her own YouTube channel, hopes to upload videos about her daily life
KFC Japan’s giant Colonel Sanders mobile battery ready to “receive everyone’s love in both hands”
What I Had For Lunch
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Alternate titles: Spatter Pattern, Harsh Ambivalence
Added July 25th, 2022
Episode 238: Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Pants
The World’s First Quantimino™ Powered Podcast is recorded at Daddy Juice Energy Studio in the Beaded Curtain District and features star players Gemini Jackson, Wes Burrito, Brian McFly, and Arthur Dood. Bring a change of clothes.
Double X Quantimino
Arthur needs more schooling on this dining out/tipping game, or maybe he just needs a refresher.
Burrito’s Nickelbox: rap-rock that’s not Limp Bizkit or Kid Rock
BNN Preview: Anime waifus, you know ’em, we love ’em! Especially the cartoon physics that govern the gravity defying quivering titties, the jiggling jugs, the booby bounce! Burrito motorboats his way up the timestream to find the source of all this titillating movement.
Ref: When was the first anime breast bounce? Japanese Twitter debates
Famous manga artist claims famous character designer was the perky pioneer, but not everyone is convinced.
This Is The Newz
Taco Bell is bringing back the Mexican Pizza
DJ Khaled’s Another Wing Unveils Plant-Based Wings
Carjacker beats up 72-year-old, takes car, only to die in crash
Florida bride and caterer charged with lacing wedding food with cannabis
Scientists Want to Probe Uranus With a New Spacecraft
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Hokkaido man found naked in laundromat in middle of the night
Kyoto City official arrested for bribery with old-timey gold coin
“I’ll draw one animal for every retweet!” Japanese artist now has to draw 22,000 animals
What I Had For Lunch
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Added July 17th, 2022