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Episode 294: Tabitha, Chivalry, and the Scientific Method

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 294: Tabitha, Chivalry, and the Scientific Method
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The scientific method, buying tickets, first movie on a date at home, $3 for cheese on a burger, chivalry was killed, teledildonics, Crispr baby, stop Rickrolling, The Big Nasty, Newz, Ninja Bear, trains, and raincoats.

Pre-game: The Scientific Method

Double X Quantimino

Buying tickets then and now

Calling All Casanovas & Don Juans, Part 2 – A Movie

A woman ghosted a date because he wouldn’t order $3 cheese for his burger

Chivalry didn’t die, it was killed

Teledildonics

You found out that you’re a Crispr baby

Stop Rickrolling

Slam City Lucha Libre – The Burrito Bandito vs The Big Nasty

This Is The Newz

Man who killed 3 people, cut heart out and cooked it pleads guilty in Oklahoma

Security guard dragged by truck while chasing person who stole 3-foot foam carrot from Clearview Mall’s Easter display

Norfolk burglar stole sex toy after break in through dog flap

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Giant “Ninja Bear” has been attacking dairy farms in Hokkaido for three years

Japanese public broadcaster issues apology for calling a train a “train”

Japan’s Raincoat Man arrested for stealing 360 women’s raincoats

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Episode 293: Waco My Aeroplane, Bok Choy For Some Box Joy, Operation Opportunity Avril

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 293: Waco My Aeroplane, Bok Choy For Some Box Joy, Operation Opportunity Avril
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Electric lawnmowers, mind control, free delivery isn’t free, Weezer gave Pikus speakers, bok choy for some box joy, HEB, Nickelback, boneless wyngz, $432K worth of crab, sister city scam, $40k worth of calculators, Raw Dawgs, corn syrup train derails, melon taste, rear train cars, flush your prayers.

Double X Quantimino

Lawnz

Choose one superpower: super strength, mind control, telekinesis, fire, ice, invisibility

Free delivery

White Van Scam in the Quantimino – Booba Gettz is spotted in Hollywood circa 1992.

“The cost of the recording session was estimated at $200, but the band didn’t have any money to cover the costs. In exchange for his services, the band gave Pikus a pair of stereo speakers which they had purchased from “a dude in a van” a few months before the session.”

Calling All Casanovas & Don Juans – bok choy for some box joy

“The cultiest cult grocer in America”

This Is The Newz

Rutgers Scientists Identify Substance That May Have Sparked Life on Earth

Man sues Buffalo Wild Wings because he says their ‘boneless wings’ are actually chicken nuggets

Man charged for impersonating Stanwood Safeway agent, stealing $432K worth of crab

City of Newark falls for Sister City scam: “Whose job was it to do a simple Google search?”

Calculators worth over $40,000 stolen in spree of New York school burglaries

‘We didn’t have any failures’: Omaha nonprofit hoping to relaunch ‘Raw Dawgs’ youth gang prevention group

A train carrying corn syrup derails in Arizona

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Tropicana’s Japanese licensee in hot juice for cartons that boast “100% Melon Taste”

“Passengers who don’t want to be groped, please use the rear train cars” announcement angers Japan

Flush your prayers down the toilet at this unique Japanese temple

After Party: Pubix and Centennial Light

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Episode 292: Jaunty Papaya Orange

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 292: Jaunty Papaya Orange
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Burrito’s new camera, yeast, socmed feeds, tech shabbat, wife beaters, Clam City, nacho cheese, location data, size Z prosthetic breasts, Funkos, chokehold, Genshin Impact, zombie virus, fake Jordan cards, and Burrito’s Nippon Newz.

Double X Quantimino

Hypothetical Meta Analysis – Burrito is asked to do a tasteful nude photoshoot with his new camera.

“I love you too much to argue.”

Yeast from there to make bread and beer

Slam Citizens’ life pro tips on curating your feedz

A “tech shabbat” – Is Arthur already doing this and can you?

“What’d You Say, Delilah?” by Haynes Wife Beaterz

Clam City, OnlyClamz

Nacho cheese

Location data

This Is The Newz

Canadian teacher with size-Z prosthetic breasts, placed on paid leave

Over $30M worth of Funkos are being dumped

Norwalk math teacher accused of using chokehold on students resigns, official says

Genshin Impact Voice Actor Asks Fans To Bathe Before Attending Concert

Scientists have revived a ‘zombie’ virus that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost

82-year-old charged with sale of fake Michael Jordan cards

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Tokyo gang breaks no-weapons rule, shows up for fight with rivals carrying spiked bat

Unlicensed drunk driver involved in hit-and-run, makes pathetic attempt to avoid police

Japanese hotel gives you a beer tap in your room, 10 liters of craft beer to drink for free

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Tentative titles: “In Queso Emergency”, “Lace Your Uncle”, “What Did You Say, Delilah?”

Episode 291: King Nerd Pudding Hounds with Hubris

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 291: King Nerd Pudding Hounds with Hubris
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A $17 cookie, blink-182’s Apple Shampoo lyrics, Liver Guy, bull semen, magazine covers, feeding a family on a $3k/week salary, Roget’s Thesaurus, dental hygienists, blackout rage gallons, free lunches, Walmart versus Target, Never Have I Ever, accidental incest, a 2,000-year-old sex toy, a 1998 Ford Escort, missing biscuits, a kissing device, a giant squid statue, spreadable coffee, and more odd news stories.

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A $17 Chocolate Chip Cookie

Dude Ranch, Apple Shampoo, Dance Hall Crashers

Liver Guy Follow-up Story

Bull semen – She tells you to take a shot right before coitus.

Your fake magazine cover

Plug In & Hate – A mother of two explains how she feeds her toddlers with her $3k/week salary.

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

“What does that make you?”

Borgs – blackout rage gallons

Arthur the Freegan

Walmart

Never Have I Ever – Retro Edition

This Is The Newz

Australia worried ‘prolific’ sperm donors could lead to ‘accidental incest’

This Well-Worn Wooden Object Was Unearthed In A Roman Fort — And Scientists Believe It’s A 2,000-Year-Old Sex Toy

Man wins $10K lottery prize, but state instead claims he owes them money

Woman goes viral for buying a 1998 Ford Escort for $289 a month for the next 84 months

Georgia woman crashes SUV into Popeyes after her order was missing biscuits

‘They missed a whole bomb in my bag,’ woman says at FLL, landing her in jail

Spirit Airlines flight makes emergency landing after battery fire

An airline provided a single banana as the in-flight ‘meal’ for one vegan passenger

This Chinese kissing device lets you smooch over the internet

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Japanese town that spent 25 million yen in COVID money on giant squid statue says it paid off big

Japanese monkey-hunting team shoots woman with tranquilizer dart

Spreadable coffee to put on your toast going on sale in Japan

After Party – Dental hygienists can tell.

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Episode 290: Custard (feat. Jeremiah Ukponrefe)

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 290: Custard (feat. Jeremiah Ukponrefe)
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Author and comedian Jeremiah Ukponrefe visits Slam City.

Double X Quantimino
In this context, what’s your definition of “anything”?: “I’ve been charged with 13 felonies in my life and only convicted of 5. So in my mind, I can get away with anything.”
Arthur the Arbiter – Himalayan pink salt
Taking surveys
Metroid Prime
Always Flexfoam
Guestimation Unknown – Filling an Olympic swimming pool
One song that you can listen to again for the first time
Phubbing

This Is The Newz
Michigan teacher plants bomb threat note to get day off, police say
Pizza delivery gives squirrel opportunity to invade Louisiana house
Scientists Will Pay You Over $4,000 to Chug a Diarrhea Drink
Drug-free relief from chronic constipation may come from a new vibrating pill
‘Groundbreaking’ male contraceptive pill ‘disables’ sperm and works in minutes
Toxic fumes escape after truck overturns in Tucson, Arizona
Bloomington man reportedly set own car on fire to stop people from stealing from it
Cape Coral man cracks a beer open during traffic stop
Man caught in stolen car while driving back to crime scene

Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Sushi chef drops knives on the train, causes panic and delays
Tiny travel guides are our latest Japanese gacha capsule toy obsession
Burger King Japan guarantees new chicken sandwich is bigger than your phone with weird promotion

Jeremiah Ukponrefe is the author of Hive, a dystopian sci-fi novel.
Get a free preview of Hive at jeremiahu.com.

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Episode 289: Cute Guys Don’t Tip Open Source Monsters Fighting Nazis

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 289: Cute Guys Don’t Tip Open Source Monsters Fighting Nazis
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The Burrito Bandito goes deep about DCU, hypothetically your mom on OnlyFans, how many times you can wear clothes without washing, hit and run, micro-stress, Frito pies, Newz, BNN, and the Take Notes after party.

Double X Quantimino

DC characters that The Burrito Bandito really wants to see in the DCU

Hypothetical Meta Analysis: Your mom on OnlyFans

How many times can you wear pajamas, jeans, and other clothes without washing them?

Hit and Run

Micro-stress

Are Fritos the last bag of chips?

This Is The Newz

Half a billion dollars worth of cocaine found adrift in Pacific Ocean

Altoona home invader kidnapped man, claimed ‘I’m Batman.’

Stowaway frog triggers alarm during screening at Pennsylvania airport

Couple returns home from trip to find pair impersonated them, sold house

11-year-old boy charged with sharing marijuana edibles at Georgia school

Hooters waitress shares ‘adjustment trick’ to get more money from ‘cute guys’

Hughson Church demands answers after sewage water, cement mistakenly pumped into the property

Bolivar’s new roadside attraction? Glass shop houses 11-foot, 150-pound functioning bong

Crews working to clean up bottles of Jack Daniel’s after tractor-trailer crash

Zookeepers Say They’ve Solved the Mystery of How a Gibbon Got Pregnant by Herself

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Japanese scientists succeed at causing depression in monkeys using magnetic stimulation

Rice Pizza?! Pizza Hut creates a new base for customers in Japan

Train driver’s locked tablet with forgotten password leads to big delay on Fukushima line

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Episode 288: Waxing Gibbons

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 288: Waxing Gibbons
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Lasagna hogs, tuna, MeToo’d, tipping robots, a re-enactment at a gas station, Kadabra, LVTOFU, woodcocks, condom-wrapped banana extraction, $295K for a testicle, quolls, $1.5M in stolen chicken wings, fast food Newz, a wearable beanbag, real-time shade info, Ice Whopper, and Yakuza-theme love hotel rooms.

Double X Quantimino

Palindromes follow-up: “go hang a salami, I’m a lasagna hog”

Tuna salad vs tuna sushi

Hypothetical Meta Analysis – Slam City Gets MeToo’d

The easiest answer to a not-so-deep dive – Should you tip a robot? But the real matter here: Service charges!?

Re-enactment – Gas station staff left horrified after finding severed human penis in car park

This Is The Newz

Kadabra Will Finally Return To Pokémon Card Game After 18-Year Ban

Texas DMV rejects vegan license plate for ‘vulgar’ phrase

Bird charity locked out of Twitter after woodcock tweets

Surgeons extract condom-wrapped banana man ate in ‘hormonal rage’ fit

Man who lost testicle from getting hit by supervisor awarded more than $295,000

Sex and no sleep may be killing endangered quolls

Vera Liddell allegedly stole $1.5M in chicken wings from Illinois schools

Salty strike: Arby’s employees quit after posting vulgar message on restaurant sign

A Chick-fil-A restaurant’s traffic got so bad that city officials ordered it to be demolished and plan to build a new drive-thru-only location

Burger King’s Latest International Menu Item Does Not Sound Very Appetizing…Or Does It

Wearable Beanbag becomes a hot topic in Japan

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Real-time shade information added to walking app from Navitime Japan

World’s first Ice Whopper on the menu at Burger King Japan

Yakuza-themed love hotel rooms! Great for couples, friends, and business meetings, owners say

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Episode 287: Infinity Monkeys

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 287: Infinity Monkeys
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Experiencing music, ChatGPT, an infinite amount of monkeys, Spectrum, time machine, okay, bathing with bottled water, butt bumping on Wheel, Pokemon Yellow, a hot triple amputee model, Amouranth, toilet-shaped plants, Viagra, skipping commercials, the world’s greatest stereo system, stolen Rolex, BNN follow-up, Starbucks creampie

Double X Quantimino

Best experience: listening to the album, listening to a live recording, or attending a live performance?

ChatGPT

Art the Arbiter – Arthur prefers to not have to wipe his ass with cold hard cash. Charter Communications (Spectrum) are crooks.

Time travel never gets old. 🐱 Time Machine

Minutiae Moment – O.K., okay?

Gemini Jackson Does The Math 

Pat Sajak’s Epic Reaction After a ‘Wheel of Fortune’ Contestant “Twerked” on Him

This Is The Newz

An original, sealed copy of Pokemon Yellow worth almost $10,500 has reportedly been ruined by US customs

I’m a triple amputee and a hot model — nothing holds me back

The Surprising Reason Twitch Star Amouranth Hasn’t Ditched NSFW Content (Yet)

These Toilet-Shaped Carnivorous Plants Thrive By Eating Poop

Viagra users are 25% less likely to suffer early death

Sony patent would have you yell at your TV to skip commercials

The world’s greatest stereo system is inside a Virginia home

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Saitama man’s 7M-yen Rolex stolen after leaving it alone with “potential buyer” for two minutes

Man who took entire town’s COVID-19 money now out of jail and turning life around

Starbucks Japan’s new cream pie’s looks are freaking people out

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Episode 286: Rabbit Season

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 286: Rabbit Season
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Midnight snacks, palindromes, 27 years at Burger King, Get 1 Free deals, 400 pushups, pay yourself first, Papa Johns, Evo Moment #37, Corn Flakes, ramen’s history, Newz, BNN, and maybe more than most podcast listeners can handle.

Double X Quantimino

Midnight snacks

Palindromes

Working at Burger King for 27 years with perfect attendance

Buy 3, Get 1 Free

400 pushups for punishment

Bad money habits – pay yourself first with at least 10% into savings?

Was the apostrophe so wet that it fell off!?

Evo Moment #37

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes were created as an ‘anti-masturbatory morning meal’?

Reloading a location-specific payment card

Arthur’s revised thoughts on ramen

This Is The Newz

Recent rains cause Whiskeytown Lake to spill into the Glory Hole

Man accused of shooting other man after oral sex meetup in Florida City

Billionaire Larry Ellison got a speeding ticket on an island he owns while driving a Corvette and told the cop there’s ‘no excuse’

FEMA fires group for nonsensical Alaska Native translations

Amazon delivery driver’s fingertip is left in letterbox after accident

Man arrested for having sex with cow, sent to psychiatrist

“Boy Meets World’s” William Daniels Was In An “Open Marriage” With His Wife Before One Of His Affairs “Devastated” Her

Southbound I-71 reopens after beer truck overturns

Girl, 13, leads Nebraska troopers on 100 mph chase with boy, 11, in the passenger seat

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

69-year-old Tokyo man arrested for driving without a license for over 50 years

Monkeys have attacked more than 60 people in three weeks in one Japanese town

Krispy Kreme releases tit doughnuts in Japan

Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz

Episode 285: The Pursuit of Greasiness

Slam City
Slam City
Episode 285: The Pursuit of Greasiness
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Clams, Clam Aiken, lines, tipping, Deftones, flood, Godzilla, cheddar cheese, Napoleon Bonaparte, used sweaters, haggling at Goodwill, dumb phones, the purple dot, cheesy pizza, Spider-Man #14 Angry Girlfriend Variant, Hello Fresh, pigeons with backpacks, jzz cupcakes, Asahi Beer image girls, Booty Royale, and more odd news stories.

Double X Quantimino

Let me tell you about this clam

A question about tipping

How willing would you be to wear a sweater that had previously been worn by a man who’d been “tainted” in some way: infected with tuberculosis, survived a car accident (misfortune taint), or convicted of murder (moral taint)?

Hypothetical Meta Analysis – Ride or Die?, Part 1: Sergio Vega Deftones contract

Ride or Die?, Part 2: A flood will destroy your living space soon and you need to evacuate. You only have time to take what you can carry on yourself. What are you taking?

Guestimation Unknown, Part 1: When Napoleon Bonaparte died, apparently his doctor cut off his penis for the autopsy. In 1977, the penis was eventually sold for how much?

Guestimation Unknown, Part 2: How many pounds of cheddar cheese did the US produce in 2014?

How willing would you be to wear a sweater that had previously been worn by a man who’d been “tainted” in some way: infected with tuberculosis, survived a car accident (misfortune taint), or convicted of murder (moral taint)?

Considering the Light Phone II

Boobs vs Butts

Romeo and Juliet (1968 film)

The Amazing Spider-Man #14 Angry Girlfriend Variant

This Is The Newz

Delivery driver left box full of Hello Fresh food on top of sleeping baby

Pigeon wearing crystal meth ‘like a backpack’ caught inside B.C. prison yard

Six journalists arrested over footage of South Sudan president wetting himself

Louisiana deputy sentenced to 100 years in prison for ejaculating on cupcakes, other crimes

Indian Held for Unruly Behavior With Woman on Airline Flight

Woman with unfortunate initials fed up of being mistaken for a sandwich

Burrito’s Nippon Newz

Asahi Beer abolishes “image girl” spokesmodel position, ending practice at big four brewers

Survey finds obesity rates fell, but eyesight worsened among Japanese schoolchildren

No longer able to draw breasts due to family circumstances, manga artist retires

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